Better Than Expected
by AddsTheWriter
Summary: Sequel to Different Than Expected / With a new marriage, two kids, and demanding careers, Olivia and Rafael think they are ready for anything, but when certain things get thrown their way, the couple realizes that they hadn't thought through everything and they also learn that maybe they can handle more than they thought.
1. Chapter 1

_*** Here it is, the sequel to Different Than Expected. I'm so excited to continue the story of this couple and see what else comes there way. Everyone was so supportive of the first story, so I hope you all enjoy this one just as much! ***_

"You know, I would have thought that after almost a year we would have already walked down the aisle." Olivia looked over the screen of her laptop, staring at Rafael Barba sitting on the other end of the couch, flipping through channels on the television.

Rafael turned to look at her. "With both of our jobs, I'm surprised it's only taken this long."

"Can you believe that in twenty four hours we're doing all of this finally?" Olivia closed her laptop and set in the coffee table. She scooted towards Rafael, laying her head on his chest.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I was thinking more along the lines of can you believe that in twenty four hours we'll be leaving and actually taking a whole weekend off with the kids?"

"You're right, that sounds much more appealing than all of this wedding stuff right now."

Just too many things had happened in the past eleven months to allow for Olivia and Rafael to get married any sooner. They had celebrated birthdays, Noah's third right after they got engaged and Raegan's first, both of which meant for new milestones for the kids. Raegan had taken her first steps at her party and she was now walking and talking, or babbling, non-stop, always chasing after her older brother. Noah had started pre-school just the month before and he loved every second of it; Liv and Rafi would come home and hear all about all of his little friends, the books they read that day, the games they played, the three year old didn't leave out a single detail. But the parents were having a good time, both of the kids were at such fun ages and new things were constantly on the rise, it made for a little chaos, but mostly new adventures. One of those adventures included Rafael officially adopting both kids, a process that would be finished up soon after their marriage became official.

"Raegan Grace you better get back here missy…" Olivia ran out of her bedroom, chasing the one year old who was sporting nothing but her diaper. "You cannot show up to mommy and daddy's wedding without any clothes on."

The little girl giggled as she made her way into the living room, climbing on to the couch, and scooting as far back as possible trying to hide herself the best an eighteen month old could. This seemed to be Raegan's normal routine recently, finding it hilarious to run around without getting dressed. She was a sassy little girl to say the least.

Olivia sat down next to her, tickling her tummy, as Raegan screamed with joy. "Okay, Rae, let's get you dressed." She picked her up and brought her back into the bedroom setting her on the bed next to her light pink dress and her little white sandals.

Twenty four hours after sitting on the couch with her fiancé, Olivia found herself torn between feeling nervous and excited. Everything and everyone was running on time, a rarity for the sergeant. But she couldn't help but feel like something was going to happen to create the usual chaos she had become so accustomed to. Raegan was finally dressed, Rafael was helping Noah get ready, and she herself had her hair and make-up done. Maybe, just maybe, it was all going to work on the one day that it really mattered.

"Are you ready to do this?" Donald Cragen stood next to Olivia as she fidgeted with her dress. It was simple, an A-line cut with thin straps and a little lace detailing around the waist.

Liv and Rafael had decided that they wanted to keep the ceremony completely intimate; they didn't want anything over the top or super large. So Olivia had decided that she wasn't going to have any bridesmaids and Rafael no groomsmen. However, after everything she had been through in special victims unit with Captain Cragen, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to have him walk her down the aisle and of course, the man was more than happy to oblige.

Liv stared up at him. "I think I am." She couldn't help but smile at the thought of marrying Rafael.

Arm in arm, Olivia and Don took their first few steps down the aisle. As she walked, Olivia's eyes skated across the whole scene. There were only about forty people filling the white chairs in the outdoor garden that sat just behind the country club Rafael belonged to. The first time they had laid their eyes on the garden, they both knew that it was exactly what they were looking for. It seemed even more picture perfect now filled with their friends and family. The whole team was there for Olivia, along with a few other friends she had from NYPD. Rafael's mom sat in the first row, Raegan sitting on her lap, wiggling against the woman's grip, making her mom chuckle. Noah sat in the seat next Rosa Barba; he stared at his mama, a smile plastered on his face. But it was Rafael at the end of the aisle that caught Liv's eye. He was standing there in his gray suit and black bow tie, tears just grazing his eyes as he looked at his bride, in total awe of her beauty. She gave him a small smile, pure joy radiating from her.

Cragen stopped just short of where Rafael stood and allowed Liv to walk the rest of the way as he took a seat in the front row. Olivia looked at her groom and felt her own tears start to form. "I can't believe we're finally here." She whispered to him.

"You look gorgeous." Barba whispered back.

The rest of the ceremony and all the words from the wedding officiant faded into the background. The bride and groom were oblivious to anything but each other. It wasn't until they reached the end, did either of them come back and finally hear their cue.

"Rafael, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?"

Rafael stared right into Olivia's eyes. "I do."

"Olivia, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Liv stared right back. "Yes, I do."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Olivia and Rafael knew exactly what that meant. Rafael grabbed Liv's waist pulling her closer, allowing them to reach each other. Their lips met in a soft, sentimental kiss, their first kiss as husband and wife.

"Congratulations you two." Alexandra Cabot came up behind the happy couple. Although she hadn't been a part of the squad for a long time, she still felt like a part of the team and she had kept in contact with Olivia. She was thrilled to be able to be there for the special day.

"Thanks, Alex." Olivia gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you were able to come."

Alex nodded. "Me, too. I would not have wanted to miss this."

A tug on her dress stopped Olivia before she could continue her conversation. It was Noah. The three year old looked up at his mom with his big doe eyes. "Mama, I'm hungry."

"Okay, baby, we'll get you some food." Liv leaned down to her son's level. "Can you say hi to mommy's friend Noah? This is Alex."

"Hi." He gave her a small wave, but inched behind his mother as she stood back up.

"Noah, why don't you go find daddy and ask him to get you some food." Olivia sent the little boy to Rafael.

"So the kids are calling Rafael dad?" Alex asked, not because she didn't agree, but because she was a little surprised.

Olivia should have known that wouldn't get past her friend. "Yeah they are… It was his choice. One day Noah just said it out of the blue and since then it's stuck. And I'm okay with it."

"I think it's great. I'm just so happy for you Liv. You deserve this." Alex meant it.

The reception was just as perfect as the wedding had been. Everyone ate and danced, spending the evening having a good time. Noah had spent his fair share of time on the dance floor, having the time of his life. Raegan had fallen asleep by the time it was all over.

"So I think it ended up being pretty great." Rafael broke the silence of the car ride as he, Olivia and the kids drove to their weekend destination.

"I would say it was a little better than great." Liv smirked.

Both of the kids were fast asleep in their car seats in the back. Liv and Rafael knew that a honeymoon wasn't supposed to include kids, but they viewed their weekend as anything but a honeymoon. They were simply driving up to the Hamptons; neither one could afford to miss more than a few days of work and they both wanted the extra time with the kids. As far as they both were concerned, it was just what they wanted.

They arrived at their hotel in the Hamptons just a little after ten. The kids had slept the whole drive and each parent took one up to their suite without disturbing their rest. The kids' beds were both outside of the bedroom that Olivia and Rafael were in. With Noah and Raegan settled, the newlywed couple found themselves all alone for the first time in a while.

"You know they're both sound asleep…" Rafael removed his jacket, as Olivia sat on the bed.

Liv smirked at her husband. "Yeah, they are."

Neither one needed to say more; they knew what was being hinted at. After all it was their wedding night. And it only took moments before they were tangled in each other's arms, their lips locked with one and others.

Rafael swept the hair away from Olivia face as he lie next to her, sleep threatening to take them both. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Liv kissed her husband one last time before they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

 _ *** There we go. Review and let me know what you think of the start to this story! ***_


	2. Chapter 2

_*** So this took so much longer to get up than I would have liked. I had a serious case of writer's block and could just not decide where to go with the characters, but I think I have it figured out now and I'll make sure to get posting more regularly. So here is a new chapter for you all! ***_

A multitude of noises filled the kitchen as breakfast was served and eaten in the Benson-Barba household. The kids and parents were rushing to make and finish the meal before Noah had to be at school, Olivia ad Rafael were due at work, and Lucy would be arriving at the apartment to watch Raegan.

"Nana, mama, nana." Raegan sat in her high chair next to her brother, who was contently eating his oatmeal.

Olivia grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter and peeled away the yellow skin before handing it to your daughter. "There's you go, lovey."

The mom returned to where she had been waiting for the coffee to roast. The machine seemed to work in slow motion this morning, as she could hardly wait for the caffeine boost to help her wake up. The days had been long at SVU recently and she could feel all the extra hours weighing on her both physically and mentally. There hadn't been a morning in the last week that didn't consist of nausea and headaches from the lack of eating and sleeping accompanying all the extra precinct hours.

Rafael returned from the bedroom, his suit jacket now on. He watched his wife stare mindlessly at the coffee maker, looking slightly paler than normal. "Are you sure you're okay, Liv?"

She looked up at the sound of her name. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just need this coffee to come a little faster."

The man nodded, but felt like she was still holding back. But what else was he to expect, Liv would never admit to being down. He let her answer roll and instead turned his attention to his son who was hoping down from his chair at the table. Rafael grabbed the empty bowl from the table top. "Noah, let's go get your teeth brushed and then daddy will take you to school today."

"Daddy, I can brushes my teeth myself." The three, almost four year old, informed his dad as he skipped to the bathroom.

"We'll see about that one, mister." Rafael followed Noah.

Olivia, who had finally been able to pour herself a cup of coffee and drink half her cup in a single gulp, moved on to clean up her daughter. The little girl had finished her banana and cheerios, happily getting out of her high chair when her mom reached for her.

"Alright, missy, let's get you dressed for Lucy and then mama needs to get to work." Liv smiled at her daughter.

Rafael stopped in the doorway of the bedroom he shared with his wife, where Olivia was getting Raegan dressed. Noah rested on his hip, the little boy with his light-weight jacket on and his superhero backpack over his shoulders. "I'm going to get going. Do you think you'll still be able to make it this afternoon?"

Liv sighed, she had forgotten about that afternoon. Her and Rafael were supposed to meet with their realtor to look at a couple of places; they had decided that with two adults and two kids in the same household, they needed more room. "I totally forgot… But, yeah, I'll try my best to get out of the precinct."

"Okay, good. We're supposed to be there at four thirty." Rafael tried not to show that he knew Liv probably wouldn't end up making it.

She met him in the doorway. "I'll see you later then." She gave her husband a kiss and Noah one, as well. "Have a good day at school, Noah."

The father son pair walked towards the front door. "Bye No." Raegan said while she sat in her mother's arms.

"Aww, you saying bye to your brother?" The relationship that had blossomed between her son and daughter never ceased to amaze the mother.

An hour later, Olivia found herself in her office buried in paperwork. The cases seemed to be coming by the truck load, as if every pedophile in Manhattan had made a pact to reveal their shortcomings within the very same month. It in turn, was what was leading to the twelve and fourteen hour days that were taking a great toll on the whole team. If it wasn't for nearly truckloads of coffee and well to do over time checks, the sergeant was sure that she and the whole squad would have quit after the first week of the criminal chaos.

The phone rang, brining Olivia from her paperwork back to the reality of what was probably another case. "Sergeant Benson." She answered, knowing that it would be another load to her already growing one.

After finishing her conversation with the lieutenant of another precinct that had caught an SVU related case involving a wife's domestic violence accusations, Liv got up from her desk and went to her door, she opened it to see Nick sitting with a woman and Fin working with a father and daughter. "Rollins, Carisi, I have a DV vic and her husband down at Mercy, can you two take it?"

"Yep, we've got it serg." Although Amanda agreed to her new task immediately, it was obvious by the look on her face that she too was tired and not particularly ready for any additions to her workload.

Olivia watched both of the detectives leave the squad room before she returned to her desk. The next hour and a half seemed to pass by within just a few finished pieces of paperwork and two cups of coffee. However, as the time went, so did Liv's focus. She found herself falling into her morning ways, a headache invading her and a wave of nausea crashing hard inside of her. She decided maybe taking a break from the mountains of paperwork would maybe do her some good, but as soon as she opened her office door she knew she had thought wrong.

"Okay, let's get you a seat." Nick ushered a woman to his desk.

Amanda sat at her own desk with a young girl who seemed to be very upset. "Alright, alright, you have to calm down. I need you to try and calm down for me."

"Man, I don't have time for any games." Fin walked into the squad room holding his cuffs that were attached to a man yelling about not having done anything. "We caught you in the act; you aren't getting out of this."

And Carisi was running from desk to desk himself helping the packed squad room, doing what he could where he could to help the ensuing chaos.

Olivia could barely watch the scene without feeling sick to her stomach. Her head was spinning just like the room seemed to be. The noise of people talking, and some yelling, was becoming louder and louder as her head pounded harder and harder. She tried to focus on the scene, tried to find somewhere that she could be of help, but she just couldn't find the strength to do it.

Nick watched his sergeant from his desk; he could tell just by glancing at her that something was off. "Excuse me." He spoke to the woman he had just taken the statement from and got up from his desk. "Liv are you okay?"

Olivia looked at her former partner, realizing he was now standing next to her, the worry evident by the look on his face, one she had become well versed in. "I think… I don't…." She didn't know how to answer him. All the sergeant wanted to say was she was fine, what could she do to help the ever busy team, but that wasn't what came out of her mouth and at that point there was no hiding behind her role.

"Liv…" Nick stared at her, unable to comprehend what he was seeing unfold in front of him. "Let's get you a seat."

He guided her carefully to the closest empty desk seat. It was Fin's desk, but as he was preoccupied with the suspect he had collared, his seat was empty and readily available. Nick felt Liv grip his arm as he helped her take a seat, seeing that she was unsteady moving from her feet. "I'm going to get you some water."

Olivia tried to take a few deep breaths, but they were shallow, shaky, and unhelpful in calming her, instead she felt even more uneasy. She hadn't felt so out of control; she couldn't decide what was possibly causing this. "Nick… Nick…" She called to him as she worked to push herself back out of the chair.

Fin had returned to the squad room in search of the proper paperwork for his latest arrest and he instantly noticed the sergeant in his seat, but more noticeable was how disoriented she seemed to be. "Woah, Liv." He grabbed her hands, trying to help her steady herself on her unstable feet. "Maybe you should sit back down."

Nick had turned back from retrieving a glass of water; he watched his fellow detective and his sergeant. "I think we should get her back in her office, lay her down on the couch in there."

The voices around her seemed to be so distant. She could hear Nick and Fin talking, but they sounded miles away instead of right next to her. And she felt it; she could feel her body swaying, her world spinning around her aching head. The whole room dimmed around her, the chaos that was ensuing becoming fuzzy and dark, her eyes distorting the scene she had just been watching; soon enough it went from distorted to simply black.

"Olivia!" Fin barely caught the brunette sergeant before her limp body went crashing to the floor.

 _ *** I hope that was worth your reading and left you wanting just a little bit more. Review and let me know what you thought of it! ***_


	3. Chapter 3

_*** Another update already! I'm pretty sure that the writer's block has seen it's better days, at least for now (and I hope it stays that way), so I will for sure try to keep the updates coming at a much better pace. For now, you can enjoy this one! ***_

"Are you sure you don't want to just walk through it while we wait for your wife? We can go back through when she arrives." The realtor working with Rafael and Olivia stood in the door way of the upper west side brownstone she was hoping would be a hit with the couple.

Rafael pulled his phone out once more. "She really is never late like this. Let me try calling her again." His statement was technically true; Olivia was rarely late, she was just much more likely not to show up at all.

The phone rang three times before his call out to Olivia was interrupted by an incoming call from someone else. Without paying attention to the caller I.D. just assuming that is was Liv calling from her office phone rather than her cell phone, he picked up the other line. However, the manly voice that came from the other line indicated to him that it certainly was not his wife that he was speaking to. "Nick? What are you calling me for?"

 _"Umm…"_ Nick didn't quite know how to respond to the man's irritated tone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come across that way."

 _"It's alright."_ The male detective was aware of Barba's sometimes aggressive attitude. _"Look we need you to get down to Mercy right away."_

"A case? Is that why I can't get a hold of Olivia? She was supposed to meet me and the realtor half an hour ago and she won't pick up her phone." Rafael assumed.

Nick let out a frustrated sigh. _"It's not a case Barba. It's Liv."_

"What? What do you mean it's Liv?" Rafael was almost yelling into his phone at this point, the realtor watching the scene unfold.

 _"I don't know anything yet. The ambulance just brought her in but no one has said anything. You just need to get down here."_

Without another word to Nick, Rafael hung up his phone and began running to his car parked a few blocks from the home he was supposed to be touring. In what seemed like an instant, he was sitting in the driver's seat of his BMW SVU, the tires screeching away from the curb as he pressed hard and fast on the gas pedal. There was no way he would make it to the hospital fast enough.

"Nick! Where is she? Where is she?!" Rafael ran through the automatic doors of the ER, immediately spotting his wife's partner sitting in one of the many occupied chairs.

"Hey, you have to calm down." Nick told him, noticing that everyone, nurses, doctors, and patients included, was watching the crazy man who had just entered the building. "She's in a room right now."

The district attorney lowered his voice. "So you've seen her then?"

"No, I was just able to harass one of the nurses long enough to get her to tell me that much. They wouldn't let me back there with her. She was conscious, though, in the ambulance when we got here."

"She hadn't been conscious?" Rafael asked breathlessly, feeling he had been kicked in the stomach by what he had just been told. "What the hell happened, Nick?"

Nick just simply shook his head. "I don't know. She came out of her office and I could just tell that something was off. She could barely make it from the door to the chair and then all of a sudden Fin was catching her before she hit the floor."

Rafael sunk into the chair next to the one that had been previously occupied by Nick. He dropped his head into his hands, letting out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He could only picture what happened in the squad room, but it was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach. This was enough, too much. He had done this before, when Olivia had been attacked in her apartment a little over a year earlier. And maybe she wasn't in as bad a shape now as she had been, but he didn't know, he knew nothing. It just like before. Why did it always come to this point? Good things had happened to them in the last year, but they could never come without some sort of catastrophe. Rafael hadn't pictured himself back in a hospital waiting room hoping to hear something about Liv, only expecting the worst.

It seemed like hours passed, in reality it was forty five minutes, before a nurse in some obnoxious print scrubs came out to the waiting room in search of anyone related to a Sergeant Benson.

"I'm her husband." Rafael hurdled himself out of the chair.

"You can follow me back to her room, now."

Rafael hesitated for a second, looking back at Nick who had also stood up. "Go, she needs you. And Fin needs me to help him with a case. Let me know as soon as you hear something."

"Will do." Rafael promised him; he knew that Nick cared about Liv, probably a lot more than anyone would care to admit.

The nurse took Rafael down a quiet hallway. The atmosphere was much different behind the double doors that blocked the waiting room from the patient rooms. There was nothing but white walls and pure silence; a silence that made all of the thoughts in Rafael's own head that much louder. They were almost screaming by the time the nurse finally showed him into Liv's room.

"Liv…" Rafael spoke her name quietly.

Olivia turned to see her husband walk through the door to her side. She reached for his hand instantly, searching for the comfort of his grip. He reciprocated and gave her hand a tight squeeze. The look on her face was filled with terror and embarrassment. Liv had never been so scared, so unsure of what was happening with her own body and she couldn't help but think about the fact that she had passed out in front of her team, in front of a room full of strangers. It was all more than the sergeant wanted to think about, let alone try to handle.

"Are you okay? Did they tell you anything? Do you need anything?" Rafael spit out all of the questions that were running through his head.

"Umm… I…" Olivia took a deep breath trying to take in the questions and calm herself enough to answer them. "I don't know anything yet."

Rafael took a deep breath, still on the verge of hyperventilating over the lack of information he was getting, all of the horrible thoughts he had silenced when walking into the tiny exam room began to become loud once more. "Did they give you any clue as to what's going on?"

Liv just shook her head. "No one is saying much of anything. They've just taken blood, done a few other things. I don't know…"

They both stopped speaking. It was hard to decide what to discuss. Rafael didn't want to bring anything up that would upset Liv. He knew she was fragile and he didn't want to make matters any worse; he was well aware that everything happening was not making his wife feel anywhere near comfortable.

"What if something is really wrong?" Rafael could barely hear her, but he caught the quiet question.

"You can't think like that Liv. Maybe it's nothing serious." Rafael knew that nothing he could say to her would help her feel any better about lying in the ER.

Liv turned to look at her husband standing by her side; he could see the tears that she was trying to hold back welling up in her eyes. "I passed out in my squad room. That means something and I can't imagine it's good. We don't need anything else… anything else to deal with. Raf…"

"I know you're worried. I'm worried too. And I don't want to tell you that I'm just as scared, but don't do this to yourself. Whatever happens, we are going to do this together and we will handle it."

The sound of the room door opening interrupted their conversation. "Sorry to interrupt. I'm Dr. Travers."

"Olivia Benson." Liv shook the hand of the male doctor. "This is my husband, Rafael."

"Good, good. I'm glad both of you are here. We have a few things we really need to discuss." The doctor opened the file he had carried in with him. "I just want to go over some things. Have you had any other symptoms lately? Anything that's been out of the ordinary?"

Olivia thought for a moment. "I've been having a lot of headaches and there have been quite a few mornings that I've woken up really nauseas, but my job is stressful and I've been spending a lot of extra hours there, so I'm assuming it has something to do with that."

"I don't know that work is the only thing causing your symptoms. It's probably not helping, but I wouldn't say that's the main cause. Have you noticed that you're more tired than normal?"

Olivia looked at Rafael, both of them on the same page and both confused about the comments the medical professional had just made. "I don't really know. Like I said I've had so many fourteen hour days in the last month and we have a three year old and a one year old at home, I'm always tired so I haven't really noticed it being any worse."

"Okay, you certainly have a lot going on and it looks like I'm just going to be adding to that." The doctor glanced down at the file again, as if to make sure that what he was relaying was correct.

"So do you know what caused this to happen?" This time Rafael questioned the doctor.

Dr. Travers looked at both of them, seeing that the news they were most likely expecting wasn't what she would be delivering. "There were a few thing that caused the episode this afternoon, but there's one large thing that is has been the overall cause of this afternoon and your other symptoms."

There was a pause among everyone. Olivia took a deep breath, she tried to calm herself, tried to stop herself from thinking the worst, but she couldn't help herself. She was lying in a hospital bed wondering why she had lost consciousness. How was she supposed to hope for the best?

"We'll go over the details next, but for now the major cause of all this seems to be your pregnancy." The doctor told the couple.

"My what?" Liv's face was covered in pure shock.

"Mrs. Benson, you're pregnant."

 _ *** Some of you had already guessed it, but there you go: Baby Barson! Leave your reviews and let me know what you think. ***_


	4. Chapter 4

_*** Here we go: Chapter Four. ***_

"Do you want to… to talk about this?" Rafael gripped the steering wheel of the SUV.

Olivia turned to him; a look on her face Barba had never even seen her use. "No."

Moments after the doctor delivered the news about the newest edition to their family, Liv had demanded to go home. She wanted nothing more than to get out of the hospital and away from everyone. After her pregnancy scare with Brian Cassidy, Olivia had given up on ever going through a pregnancy and with two adorable kids at home now that were all hers, she didn't need to have a child of her own to fill her need to be a mother. And as horrible as she knew it sounded, the news left her wondering whether she wanted to do this now, whether she wanted to go through everything to bring her third child into the world.

The greeting recieved from Lucy, who had been nice enough to pick up Noah from preschool and stay with the kids until their parents came home, was a little to chipper for the couple. "Thanks for staying with them Lucy. You can go home and don't worry about coming in tomorrow, I think we'll both be staying home."

Lucy could feel the tension radiating from Olivia and Rafael and she fast walked to the door, grabbing her coat without putting it on. "I'll see you later." The babysitter was out of the apartment as fast as she could be.

Olivia walked through the apartment without saying anything to her husband. She went to check on the kids, both of them fast asleep seeing as it was nearing midnight now. The mom took a moment to watch both of her sleeping babies. Noah was in his toddler bed; the sea turtle that Barba had gotten from him when they first started dating was hugged tightly to the little boy's chest. Her daughter however, was sprawled in her crib, sleeping on her tummy with her blankets thrown off of her. The way Raegan slept said a lot about the one year old and Liv loved her even more for it.

In search of something to drink, Olivia returned to the kitchen and got herself a bottle of water from the fridge, although all she wanted was a large glass of wine to drown out the day's events. At the sound of her opening the fridge, Rafael got up from where he had dropped on the couch.

"You know, Liv, I know we weren't ready for this, but we'll figure this out babe."

Oliva turned to look at him and scoffed. "We're going to figure this out? That's your answer to this Rafael. This is so far beyond figuring something out; that doesn't even begin to cover what we're up against."

"What we're up against? Liv, it's another child. We're handling two right now, one more isn't going to be all the much different." Rafael said.

"You aren't thinking through any of this are you?" Olivia set down her water bottle and walked into the living room. "This isn't all about just having another baby Rafael. It's about the fact that we don't even have enough room in this apartment right now for all of us; that means that we have to find a house and move into it within the next eight or less months. Not to mention that this is not going to be some easy, simple pregnancy. We've already seen some of its affects and you heard that doctor, this is high risk. How am I supposed to handle a high risk, possibly fatal pregnancy and a whole unit and two kids? And that's not even thinking about if I'm lucky enough to end up on bed rest or god forbid, this child is born early and we're spending our lives in the NICU hoping that our baby is going to get to come home; nothing about this going to be figuring it out."

"Keep your voice down the kids are asleep." The district attorney turned father warned his wife as he found himself sinking back into his seat on the couch.

"That's your response to what I just told you? Oh yeah, it's fine. We'll just ignore everything and hope for the best." Liv turned to leave.

Rafael sighed, running his hands down his face. "I'm not trying to ignore what you've told me. But maybe just this once, you cannot look at something and see only what can go wrong."

"That's easy for you to say." She spat back at him.

"I know what you've been through Olivia; I am well aware." Rafael told her. "But is that always going to affect the way you think? This is another baby we're talking about, not some hardened criminal."

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Liv was shocked that he would even bring that up. She knew he was referencing Lewis and all that had happened with him and it wasn't fair in the least. Olivia didn't ask to be taken by a psychopath, she didn't ask to be caught by him twice, but it happened and she could never say that it didn't have an effect on her, but Rafael bringing that up as a way to justify why she was worried was low and uncalled for. "I'm sorry that bad things always seem to happen and I'm sorry that those things have changed me. And I don't want them to dictate how I think, but it's too late for that. And sometimes I think it's for the better since at least one of us is living in reality."

"Wow… Okay… I'm sorry I even asked." Rafael could tell his annoyance was evident in the tone of his voice, but he was too irritated to care.

"Yeah, you should be." Olivia's anger was only rising with every comment that her husband made.

"Mommy?" The small voice sounded from the entry to the kitchen. Noah was holding tight to his stuffed turtle, his big brown eyes filled with worry. Liv didn't think they had been that loud but she always forgot how small the apartment was and how fast voices traveled from one room to another.

She left Rafael on the couch and went to retrieve her son. "Did mommy and daddy wake you up baby?"

Noah nodded. "I missed you at bedtime."

His comment left Olivia with mixed emotions. She hated to miss out on bath time and bedtime with the kids; it was her time with them, when she could unwind from her own day and enjoy her babies. It was upsetting that her three year old had noticed her absence, but it also made her feel so greatly wanted. "I missed you too, buddy. But you know what? I'm going to stay home with you and Raegan all day tomorrow. How does that sound?"

They had reentered Noah's bedroom now and as he sat rubbing his eyes in his bed, he perked up at the idea of being able to spend an entire day with his mom, something that didn't happen often enough. "Really?"

"Yes, really. But that means you have to go back to bed now, so that it can be tomorrow, first."

By the time Olivia finished speaking, Noah was already lying back down, his eyes heavy with sleep. "I love you, mommy."

That simple statement from her son, made Olivia fall to the verge of tears. "I love you more, my sweet boy." She gave him a soft kiss on his forehead.

After closing the bedroom door behind her, Olivia sank down against it, huddling her knees against chest, lying her head down. The tears flowed without control, her body shook. What was she doing? What was she going to do? She had already added another child to her son's life and he had turned into the best big brother his little sister could ask for. But how was he going to handle another sibling? When she had adopted Noah, she always figured he was her one and only chance at motherhood; he was the biggest blessing she had ever received. And Raegan had been yet another blessing, one Olivia had never expected to find, but embraced so gratefully. Now there was another child to think about. She didn't want to feel it, but everything about the child she had just learned she was carrying was so much different than either Noah or Raegan. No matter what, her son and daughter were more important than anything and she was so scared that this new baby would change their little lives too much.

Liv wiped at her tears and stood up, trying to gather herself and her thoughts as best she could before she walked into her own bedroom. From the closet, she grabbed a spare blanket and from the bed she grabbed both of the pillows her husband slept on. She then headed back out to the living room where Rafael still sat hunched over on the couch, a glass of scotch now added to his hand.

Olivia threw the blanket and pillows on the floor next to his feet. "Here." She was brusque.

"What is this for?" Rafael's words were slurred just slightly, the effects of the alcohol showing.

"I figured that since you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight you could at least use those." She told him.

"Since when am I sleeping out here?" Rafael jerked his question out.

Olivia was already walking away from him, toward the bedroom. "Since I decided that I didn't want to share my bed with you tonight." The door to their bedroom slammed shut behind her final statement to her husband.

The sergeant went into the bathroom. She turned on the faucet, running the water to get it warm. As she waited for her water to heat, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The mascara and eye liner she had dawned just an hour earlier was smeared under her eyes and across her cheeks, the effects of her sob fest only moments before. This is what's already happening because of another child. She felt horrible blaming the unborn baby in her womb, but it was so hard to look past how much of an effect it had already had in just the hours since the mom had found out about it. How was she going to do this? It was all Liv could ask herself the rest of the night, as she lay wide awake.

 _ *** Review and let me know what you think of Olivia's reaction. I don't want this whole journey to be too cliché, but I don't want to stray too far in another direction. So leave me your thoughts! ***_


	5. Chapter 5

_*** Next chapter for you all. And just to clarify, there will be no getting rid of the baby or anything of that nature. I just want to make sure things stay interesting and stick to the characters and their personas. Now read away! ***_

Olivia was dreading the day more than she ever though she would, but for more reason than one. Her first looming doctor's appointment had her on the edge of her seat all day; in the back of her head she knew what this appointment would mean and she wasn't ready for it all to be even more real than it was. The sergeant's first task before that, however, wasn't sounding much better.

At the realization that today she would be leaving early for her appointment and that she knew today wouldn't be the only time that her new found pregnancy would require her to be away from work, so she knew that she needed to let someone know what was going on. Fin was her second in command, the one she would leave in charge when she wasn't there; he was also the closest thing to a brother Olivia would have, besides her step brother, but Fin was even more to her than Simon. They had been together from the very beginning.

"Fin, do you have a minute?" Olivia stood in the doorway of her office, surveying the squad room. It was a quiet day, only a single open and shut case coming through that morning.

The man stood up from his desk, disregarding for the moment the DD5 he was working on. "What's up Liv?" She would always be his sergeant, but he was too stuck in his ways to start calling her that now.

Liv closed the door behind them. Fin stood in front of her desk and she settled against it, taking off her glasses. "There's something I need to tell you, but it cannot leave this office. It's between you and me for now."

"Okay, no one will find out then." The last person to share secrets would be Fin.

"I'm…. Umm…" Olivia let out a deep breath her hands nervously running through her hair. She hadn't said the words out loud to anyone. "I'm… I'm pregnant, Fin."

The male detective felt his face go blank. He had assumed walking in that it was all work related, it always was with Olivia. Yet here they both were, Liv trying to catch her breath after sharing the news and Fin unable to come up with a response.

"Not quite what you were expecting to hear were you?"

Fin shook his head in response. "I don't know what to say."

"You and me both." An awkward chuckle escaped her.

"Are you… Was this planned?" Fin knew that was probably a dumb question, but Liv shared so little about her life he didn't want to make the wrong assumption.

Liv scoffed. "What do you think?"

"Well I guess I should be telling you congratulations." Fin said. "But I'm not sure that's what you really want to hear."

"I don't know what I want hear at this point. I just needed to let you know. You deserved to know."

"I appreciate that. But how are you handling all of this?" He asked.

A somewhat sad smile overcame Olivia as she thought about what she had just been asked. "It's… It's a lot…"

"If you need anything, you know you can ask Liv. But you'll get through it, you always do."

Olivia could only hope that Fin was right this time.

With the squad squared away and her faith put in Fin to keep their secret, Olivia left the precinct, feeling worse by the minute about where she was headed next. The impending stress of realizing that she was about to confirm her third child was taking over that sergeant as she drove to the office of the OBGYN.

She arrived to find Rafael's car already there. He had insisted that he be there. And although she wouldn't say that anything had been resolved after that night in their apartment, they simply seemed to be ignoring the topic and as far as Olivia was concerned that seemed to be for the better. She tried to stop the thoughts of that night as she walked into the building, only to find Rafael sitting in the waiting room with both kids.

Quickly checking herself in and getting the necessary paperwork, Liv went down in the seat next to Noah, separating her from her husband.

"Thank goodness you're here; I was starting to get weird looks from everybody being here without someone who could actually be having a baby." Rafael held Raegan on his lap.

"Hi mommy." Noah looked up from the video he was watching on the iPad.

"Hi buddy." Olivia smiled at her son before turning to her husband. "Why are they both here?"

"I just thought it would be fun to make this a family event." Rafael rolled his eyes. "When I got home after picking Noah up, Lucy was a mess. I guess her mom and sister were in a car accident. I don't know exactly what, happened I didn't want to press her for information. But I couldn't force her to stay, so I let her go to the hospital and brought the kids here."

Liv sighed. "Poor Lucy. Remind me to text her later and see how she is."

"Daddy what was wrong with Lucy? She was crying." Noah had joined in on his parents' conversation.

"Something happened to her mommy and she was sad about it." Rafael kept the explanation simple.

"Olivia Benson?" The sound of her name almost made her jump. No matter what, nothing could distract her from how nervous she was.

She got up from her seat and met the nurse in dark blue scrubs. Rafael followed behind her, Raegan in his arms and Noah running in front of him to catch up to his mom.

"The doctor will be with you shortly." The nurse who had brought the family back to the exam room, left with a smile after reviewing the information on the sheets Olivia had just filled out and taking her pulse and blood pressure, both of which were rather high.

Raegan still sat in her father's lap, content as she had ever been. Olivia thanked her lucky stars that the one day her daughter really needed to sit still and behave, she had decided to. Noah, however seemed very interested in what was happening.

"Mommy why do you see a doctor?" At nearly four years old, Noah had questions about everything. "Are you sick?"

She opened her mouth to answer him and the stopped. Rafael and Olivia hadn't told Noah about the baby yet. They didn't know exactly how to and Liv had been so worried about him being upset by it. "No, I'm not sick. Mommy and daddy are going to have another baby, so the doctor has to come check up on me and the baby to make sure that everything is okay."

"A baby?" Noah questioned her response.

"Yeah, you're going to have another sister or brother." Rafael filled in.

Noah thought for a moment, processing what he had just been told. "I want a brother, please."

"Well we don't really get to choose that, but there's a pretty good chance you'll get a baby brother."

A knock at the door stopped any further questions from the curious little boy. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm sure we're all ready to get started."

This woman wasn't Olivia regular OBGYN. Before she left the hospital after finding out about the pregnancy, the doctor she had met there recommended this particular OBGYN because she specialized in high risk pregnancies. Liv knew right away that she would be better off seeing this doctor rather than her regular one, even if it meant having to become comfortable with a complete stranger.

"I'm Dr. Russell." She shook the hands of Olivia and Rafael. "I see we have the whole crew with us today. It also seems then, that you two must be pretty familiar with this whole process."

Olivia looked at Rafael, who shared the same sideways glance. "We've never done this before. Both of them were adopted. This is my first pregnancy." That seemed to be everyone's assumption when they saw the kids. Both of them looked enough like their parents that everyone was shocked to find out there was no biological connection.

"I'm very sorry. They both look like they could be yours. But that just means that we have quite a bit to go over."

The doctor seemed to talk forever and it wasn't that Olivia didn't like her, but she certainly didn't like the content of their conversation. They went over the regular things like the possible dates of conception, what she would need to take for prenatal vitamins. However, those topics were not what were most important. Everything that could possibly go wrong was brought up by Dr. Russell: a miscarriage, which she didn't seem to concerned with, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, the possibility of being put on bed rest, which seemed to be the one Dr. Russell was most expecting to become a reality. It was a lot to take in, even if Olivia had already known they were all potential risks.

The anxiety that had just come with the conversation was quick to melt away into the background as soon as the parents watched the grainy black and white image of their baby on the ultrasound screen. And it was even more forgotten about when the swishing rhythm of the heartbeat filled the room.

"What's that?" Noah looked rather alarmed by the sound that suddenly filled the small exam room.

"Baby!" Raegan screamed with excitement, making all of the adults in the room laugh.

"Your little sister is right, that is your new brother or sister. It's the sound of their heart beating." Dr. Russell told Noah.

Noah didn't say anything more; he was mesmerized by the idea that he was able to hear such a noise.

Liv found herself just as speechless as her son had become. There were no words to describe what she was feeling. In that moment that noise meant more to her than anything she had been feeling; that noise made her realize just how real the growing infant inside of her was.

"Is that… does that sound normal?" Rafael asked the doctor.

She nodded happily, removing the doppler and stopping the noise. "It sounds great, just what we want to hear. And I would say your estimate looks to be correct because I would say you're right at ten weeks. Everything right now looks perfect. As this is a high risk pregnancy, I can't guarantee that it will stay that way, but I think for now there is nothing to be too worried about."

Olivia felt so torn. She could say without a doubt that she was thrilled to hear that everything was going as planned and the baby appeared to be healthy. She just couldn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head that still made her question how she was going to make it through this pregnancy and handle another baby. But as she and her family walked out of the doctor's office, the first images of her third child in her hand, Liv knew there was no doubt that her family would be growing soon enough.

 _ *****_ _ **So things are most certainly not resolved yet, but I thought I would hold off a little on the angst from the previous chapter. However, there is still plenty to come and nothing is ever as expected for this family, now is it? Review and leave me all of your thoughts so far! ***_


	6. Chapter 6

"Mommy! Mommy! Come look at my tower. Come look!" Noah ran into the kitchen, almost jumping up and down with excitement as he waited for his mom to come look at his latest block creation.

A chuckle escaped Liv as she followed her son. His enthusiasm for what he had just built was contagious, even if the tower was simply just the wood blocks stacked as high as the three year old could reach. "That's great Noah!"

"Now watch this!" The little boy looked even more excited than he had just a moment before.

The mom quickly took a seat on the floor of the living room, hoping to catch all the action of both her kids.

"Rae come get it." Noah instructed Raegan, who instantly seemed to know what her brother was referring to. The little girl went right up to the towering blocks her brother had just built up and pushed the middle of it with all of her might. The tower went crumbling down in seconds, however, both kids were giggling uncontrollably as it happened; they seem to think it was just the funniest thing they had witnessed. And as far as Olivia was concerned, it was quite possibly one of the cutest things she had watched.

Noah turned to his mom. "Did you teach your sister how to do that, buddy?"

"Yes I did." Her son seemed very proud of his accomplishment. "Can I teach the new baby too?"

Liv nodded. "Of course you can. You'll be the big brother, so you'll get to teach the baby all kinds of cool things."

At three years old, Olivia had somewhat assumed that the information about having a new brother or sister had gone in one ear and out the other for her son. She obviously knew that Raegan had no idea what was going on, but Noah had taken in the news and understood it more than she had thought he would. Since that day in the doctor's office, Noah had been asking all sorts of questions about the baby; he was probably the most excited about adding another addition to the family.

"Mama, baby." Raegan had left the blocks askew on the floor and had moved onto her favorite baby doll. She held it up by an arm to show her to her mama the toy.

Olivia took the doll from her daughter's little hands and cradled the doll in her arms like a real baby. "Your baby is so sweet, Rae." Olivia played along with the one and a half year old.

"My baby." Raegan reached for her doll.

"Yes that is your baby." Olivia told her and handed the doll back to her daughter, who snuggled her instantly.

"Daddy!" Noah ran from his spot on the floor, slamming into his father's legs and hugging them tightly, before the front door could even close.

Rafael grabbed him and lifted him up. "Hi buddy." It had been a long day at work for the district attorney and he welcomed such an excited hello from his son.

After greetings from dad and more playtime, the family ate their dinner all together, something that both parents wished they could do every night, but knew their jobs would never allow. Bath time followed quickly, Rafael showered Noah and Olivia took care of Raegan in the bath tub, the mom's favorite time of day. Soon enough though, everyone had gathered in Liv and Rafi's bedroom, a stack of picture books sitting on the bed ready to be read.

"Read this one first. Daddy!" Noah picked up his favorite book, one all about dinosaurs, and gave it to Rafael.

"Okay, we'll do this one first and then we'll let Raegan choose the next book." Rafael negotiated. Noah agreed easily and sat down in his dad's lap.

Just as the first words of the first page of the book left Rafael's mouth, the sound of a ringing phone interrupted what had been quality family time. Liv knew immediately that it was her phone and she also knew immediately what it meant for the rest of her night.

With a disappointed sigh, Liv answered. "Benson."

 _"Hey Liv. It's Nick."_

"I'm really hoping you're just calling to ask me how my night is."

 _"I wish I was. We really need you. We've got… a situation."_

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked.

Nick paused. _"It's a lot to explain, but you need to meet us, okay?"_

Olivia was a little worried by Nick's tone. "Alright, alright, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Nick gave Olivia the address of where to meet the rest of the team and she quickly put back on the outfit that she had been wearing earlier that day. She strapped her badge to the waist of her pants, and holstered her gun.

"Do have to go mommy?" Noah watched his mom as she rushed to get ready for her return to work.

Olivia hated that question. "I'm sorry, I do baby. Someone really needs mommy's help tonight. But daddy will finish reading to you and then I will be here for breakfast in the morning, okay?"

She kissed her son and daughter goodnight, Rafael as well, before walking out the door to whatever awaited her.

"Thank goodness you're here, sergeant." Amanda greeted Olivia as she soon as she stepped out of the driver's seat.

Olivia followed her to the front of the apartment building that belonged to the address that she had been given earlier. "What is going on? Nick wouldn't tell… Wait, this is Sydney Hanson's apartment."

"Yeah it is." Amanda confirmed.

"So really what's going on?" Olivia was starting to feel as if the situation was more serious than she has presumed.

Rollins tugged at her Kevlar vest. "Nathan Cole got out on bail a couple of hours ago.

The sergeant felt her breath hitch in her throat. Sydney Hanson was a mother and victim. She had come into the squad room only a week earlier with her daughter and son. She was covered in bruises, her right eye black and blue, and strangulation marks covering her neck. She had told Olivia that her husband had beaten her again and this time she was done taking it, because it had gone beyond just slapping her around; this time, the marks on her neck were from him chocking her until she was barely conscious and he had raped her. The whole squad had been appalled, but with both of the children the same age as her own kids and knowing they had been in the apartment when it had all taken place, made Olivia feel most responsible for helping Sydney. It had worked, they pressed charges and Nathan Cole had been arraigned with his bail set at five hundred thousand dollars, a price tag everyone had assumed that the man would never be able to meet. Yet here they were and the man was roaming free.

"Who the hell bailed him out?" Olivia asked.

"That pig's mother." Neither Amanda nor Olivia had seen Fin come up behind them, but he was wearing a disgusted look all too familiar to both women.

Liv scoffed. "Of course that woman did. She's had blinders on about her son since we brought him in." There was a pause for a moment. "Wait, so what does this have to do with why we're here? Did Sydney call us?"

"It wasn't Sydney. It was Sydney's neighbor who called us after he heard the kids screaming and furniture crashing. He also told dispatch that he could hear a man's voice in the apartment and he was almost sure that it was Nathan Cole's."

The sergeant ran her hands down her face, finally grasping the importance of what was going on. "So he has them up there? He's holding Sydney and the kids hostage?"

"Yes he is." Amanda said.

Without another thought, Olivia ran back to her car, popping open the truck to grab her Kevlar vest. She strapped it on as she moved back to the apartment building entrance, this time running in and up the stairs. Her heart was racing, her palms clammy with the nerves that were forming inside of her. Hostage situations never got better; they weren't something that officers could practice and get better at. There was never a guarantee about what might happen. Unpredictability was not the friend of anyone on the police force, but especially so for special victims when so many times it meant not just a helpless victim, but often children as well.

At the top of the stairs that opened up to Sydney Hanson's floor, Liv ran into the SWAT team, all of them armed and ready to infiltrate quickly if and when it became necessary. Nick was among the men, along with another officer, one Liv wasn't familiar with.

"Nick what do you know?" Olivia made her way through the impeding crowd of armed men.

"Liv. This is Sergeant Garrett from the two-four just down the street. He responded and then called us." Nick formally introduced his own sergeant.

The man stuck out his hand, giving Liv's a rather abrasive shake. "We don't know a lot yet. He won't let anyone in or out. He keeps asking for only one person."

"Who does he want? We need to get them here; somebody has got to get in there." Olivia knew the clock was ticking on saving those that were in that apartment with that man.

Nick spoke up. "He's asking for you, Liv."

Before she could even answer or think about what she was going to do, yelling erupted from inside the apartment. "Where is she?! Where is that stupid bitch, Sergeant Benson?!"

"I'm here, Nathan. I'm here." She was right next to the door, hoping he could hear her, trying to keep the tone of her voice even and not let her anger show.

"It's about damn time. I want you in here now. No one else and you better not have that gun on your waist, or so help me…"

She let out a long drawn out sigh, before she turned to Nick and Sergeant Garrett. She unholstered her weapon, handing it to her detective. She tugged at her Kevlar vest, pulling it just a little bit tighter.

The other sergeant glanced between Olivia and Nick. "Are you sure about this?"

"That is my victim in there, those are kids in there. I am not going to wait until something worse happens."

He backed down immediately, seeing just how serious Olivia was.

Liv knocked on the wood door separating her from the unhinged man on the other side. "Nathan. It's me. It's Sergeant Benson. I'm coming in."

"You sure as hell better be alone and unarmed!" He screeched through the door.

"I am." Liv gave the signal to everyone else to move out of the way so that Nathan couldn't see any of them when she opened the door. They obliged quickly and quietly.

And with a shaky hand, Olivia pushed the door open and stepped inside of the apartment.

 _ *** What do you know? Another signature cliffhanger. We'll just have to see what happens. For now, leave me your thoughts and comments! ***_


	7. Chapter 7

_*** Finally the suspense is over. ***_

"Let me see your hands! I want to see your hands!" Nathan Cole swung his gun around in front of him while his free arm was wrapped around the neck of Sydney Hanson.

Olivia spread her fingers and raised her hands up, showing that she had nothing on her, no weapon, no drop gun, nothing to protect herself. He looked her up and down slowly, as she tried to avoid eye contact with Nathan. The surroundings of the apartment came into view. The kids were sitting quietly on the couch, the older of the two, a four year old girl, was holding on tightly to her one year old little brother.

"I don't have anything." Liv started to lower her hands back down.

Nathan reacted quickly. He threw Sydney from his grasp; she slammed to the floor, her body landing with a crash. Stomping across the room, Nathan grabbed Olivia's hand, twisting it behind her back, and shoving her against the door she had just entered from. His hands made their way up and down here body, sliding under her shirt, feeling around the waistband of her pants. "Nothing. That's good. You're not quite as stupid as I thought you were."

Olivia held her breath and her condescending comments, not wanting to set off the already angered man. "This is your call, Nathan. I'm going to help you do this how you want."

"I'm glad you know that, because there wasn't going to be any other choice."

Sydney stayed lying on the floor; she didn't want to make even the slightest movement as it might mean more unbearable consequences. However, she shared a quick look with the sergeant as she turned around from being against the door. The look Olivia gave Sydney said that she was going to finish this; she wasn't going to let anything else happen.

"Okay, Nathan, you have me and you have Sydney. Maybe we can let the kids go? They don't need to see this." Liv pressed.

"No! My kids aren't going anywhere. They're mine!" Nathan had the gun pointed at Olivia.

"Yes, they are your kids Nathan. Nothing is going to change that. But do you want them to watch this? To see you hurting their mom?"

The last question pushed the man too far. He charged at Liv, pushing her back against the door, making it rattle. He gripped his large hand around her throat, while the other hand kept the gun aimed at her head. "I'm not hurting her! I never did anything to her! This is all your fault, you stupid bitch. You made Sydney think that I did something to her; you planted all of these ideas in her head. We were one happy family, until you came along. And now you both need to pay for what you've done."

Olivia shut her eyes as he screamed within in inches of her face. His grip around her neck wasn't tight enough to cut off her oxygen, but she could still feel her skin bruising underneath it.

"Did you hear me?!"

She nodded.

"Good." But as the single word response left Nathan Cole's mouth, his grip loosened just enough to give him the leverage he needed in order to throw the sergeant's shaking body to the ground. As she fell, Liv's head crashed against the corner of a side table sitting next to the couch. The world around her was dark before she even made it all the way to the floor.

"We shouldn't have sent her in there all alone. We need to get her out of there." Nick stood on the other side of the door, trying his best to hear every single thing that was happening within the apartment, but all he could make out was the sound of angered screams and whatever was falling to the floor.

Fin had joined Nick and Sergeant Garrett in the hallway of the apartment building. "Like you would have stopped her, Nick? She wasn't going to listen to anyone; all Liv cares about is saving that woman and those kids."

"Has she always been like this? I've never had a detective so willing to walk into a hostage situation." Sergeant Garrett observed.

Nick and Fin shared a glance, both of them knew the answer; they knew in more ways than one why Olivia was always so willing to help and do whatever it takes, but explaining it in short to a stranger was hard. If they hadn't spent years with her, people didn't understand Liv.

"She's been through a lot and uh… personally, she knows what it's like to be the victim. So yeah, she's always been like this and it's not ever going to change." Fin kept it short and sweet, not revealing too much.

"Well it still worries me that she walked right in." Sergeant Garrett told the two detectives.

Fin and Nick didn't say anything else, but they both knew why Liv did what she did and that's what was important to them. SVU didn't solve cases based on what every cop was taught at the academy; they solved cases with instinct and empathy. Not everyone understood, but Nick and Fin knew that their sergeant would fix what was wrong.

"All you need to know is that she'll do what needs to be done." Nick assured the other sergeant.

When Olivia came to she could taste blood in her mouth, feel the cut on her lip. She felt her forehead, more blood on her hands from what Liv assumed was a cut on her throbbing head. But it was the crying that took Olivia away from her own problems. They were coming from the far corner of the apartment. In the time that she had been unconscious, the children had moved from the couch. The huddled together in the corner as their father was doing what he could to take care of their mother. His hands were wrapped around her neck. She was trying to fight him off, but she was no match for the man's strength.

Olivia stood up slowly. The room spun around her slightly, but she pushed herself to work through it, to worry about the more important matters at hand. But as soon as she took a single step, Nathan let go of Sydney and turned his attention back to the sergeant he was blaming for this mess.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?! You're not touching my children. They don't need you brainwashing them too; telling them their father is monster. I'm not a monster!"

Liv shook her head. "No one wants to tell your kids that their father is a monster. But now they have seen this… all of this, how are you going to explain it? What are we supposed to tell them? I know you want to protect your kids, I understand that."

"No you don't understand. You don't understand that you have to be responsible for your actions. That's what I want to teach my kids and that's what I'm going to teach you."

Nathan Cole lunged quickly. He grabbed Olivia by her arm and yanked her towards him. He locked his forearm around her neck; he grabbed the gun from where it shoved into the waist of his pants. He pressed it to her temple, making Olivia flinch with the flashback of her last moments in the granary with William Lewis. For a few seconds, Liv went to another place, a place where she was no longer being held by an enraged husband, but instead by a psycho serial killer.

"Get over here!" The sound of Nathan screaming at his kid's took Olivia from thoughts. "Get over here and sit down and watch your daddy do what needs to be done."

Olivia realized then what he was going to do, what the father was trying to prove. "You don't need to do this. They… your kids… they don't need to watch you do this. Don't make them see… don't make them."

"This is not your call. You do not get to call the shots. You have lost that power. I have the power now and you are going to do what I say and you are going to suffer like you have made my family suffer." He pressed the gun a little harder.

Sydney laid on the floor watching in horror. She didn't know what to say or how to react. She would have done anything to stop the man she had spent the last years of her life with, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't stand the thought of reacting and having her children watch their father punish her.

"Please, Nathan, please." Liv pleaded.

"Daddy…" The four year old little girl watched, wide-eyed and filled with terror. "Don't do it. Please."

She was crying, an endless stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. She could see that what was happening was wrong. And she was beyond scared; all three adults in the room could evidently see that.

"Sweetie, be quiet." Sydney said it just loud enough to make sure her daughter heard her.

"No daddy! Please!" The little girl cried.

"Shut up! Shut up! All of you need to shut up!" Nathan Cole was steaming, his anger was rising by the second.

"Daddy!" The four year old wouldn't give up on her father. No child ever wanted to believe that their parent was a monster, no matter how old they were.

Nathan moved the gun from where it had been resting on Olivia's face and was now pointing it at his own daughter. "I told you to shut up! Daddy is going to do whatever daddy wants to. You need to learn to be quiet, just like your mother does."

The gun was aimed directly at the four years old forehead as she was sitting just feet away from where her father stood.

"Nathan! Do not do that!" Sydney couldn't stop herself. No matter how mad it would make him, she couldn't stand by while he threatened her daughter.

"No both of you are going to shut the hell up now!"

"Nathan…" Olivia try to keep her voice steady.

But it was too late. He was done listening, done taking orders. This was going to end whether it was the way he had planned it or not. There was no more hope for the situation that was playing out in the family's apartment.

Two gunshots, one right after another went off and it was all over.

 _ *** Everyone's favorite, yet another cliffhanger. So much for no more suspense, but it wouldn't be very interesting without them. In the meantime, reviews are more than welcomed! ***_


	8. Chapter 8

"Get this door open now!" Nick screamed to the men of the SWAT team that were in the hallway with him.

Two burly men barreled into the door, cracking the wood under their weight and causing the door to fly open and almost off of its hinges. The rest of the team stayed back and allowed Fin, Nick, and Sergeant Garrett to enter the apartment first as to not overwhelm anyone.

"Liv." Fin noticed his sergeant right away. Her body lay underneath a bloodied Nathan Cole.

She looked up and saw her detectives and the sergeant she had met just a few hours earlier. It took her a moment to realize what had just happened. She could feel the dead weight of Nathan Cole lying on top of her, his blood on her. But she wasn't worried about herself, it the four year old little girl lying across from her on the floor. "Help the girl." It was all she could manage, as the weight on top felt as if it was crushing her.

Nick went to the little girl's aid immediately. She was bleeding; a bullet wound in her stomach from what Nick assumed was her father's own gun. She was awake, but it was obvious that the injury was starting to take her. "It's okay. You're going to be okay." He picked her up of the ground, trying his best to keep pressure on the wound while running to where the EMT's were waiting downstairs.

The little boy and his mother seemed unharmed. Sydney, stood up, looking in horror as she took in the whole picture of what had happened to her former husband. As she picked up her crying son, Sydney couldn't help but feel grateful that a there was a bullet lodged in the man's back. A SWAT team member escorted her out. She needed to be looked over at the hospital after receiving a fairly good beating at the hands of that man, but her main concern was her daughter.

Fin let Nick and the other men do their jobs while he took care of Olivia. With the help of Sergeant Garrett, they rolled the dead man's body off of her. "Here, let me help you."

She reached for Fin's hands and let him help her stand up. She took one look at the bloody body that had been on top of her seconds ago and her body began to shake with the terror of another flashback. "They killed… He's dead."

"He's dead Liv. It's over." Those were the exact lines Fin remembered delivering to her after her last incident with William Lewis and as he watched her, Fin knew instantly that the pictures from that time were playing through her head. "Come on, we need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Olivia insisted.

"That gash on your forehead says otherwise. And I think that maybe there's something else you should get checked out." Fin wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started to guide her out of the apartment.

Liv turned around one more time to look at the body. He was dead, Lewis was dead. They were both gone, no longer able to inflict any harm. She had to keep reminding herself of that as she walked out of the building and got into the passenger seat of Fin's unmarked car.

"You're going to need about four stitches to close that cut." The nurse told Olivia as she carefully examined her head and the other bruises she had earned from that night, or what was now early morning.

The nurse walked away for a moment in order to retrieve the supplies she needed, so Liv turned her attention to Fin, who had insisted on staying with her. "Who got Nathan Cole?"

"The sniper on the roof of the building across the street. As soon as he saw him waiving that gun at the four year old through the window, he told Sergeant Garrett that he had a shot and he took it."

"So the gun went off when he was hit." Liv realized what happened to the poor little girl who had been on the other side of her father's gun. "How is she? The little girl?"

"Last I heard she was in recovery after surgery. The bullet didn't hit anything major, but that had to go in a remove it as quickly as possible. She's going to be fine." Fin assured Liv.

The nurse returned and began to work on Olivia's cut. She stitched it up as quickly as possible, assuring Liv that the scar wouldn't be too noticeable. When she left another doctor came in, this time it was the OBGYN that had been requested as soon as Olivia had let her nurse know she was fourteen weeks pregnant. The doctor's examine was quick, Olivia wasn't bleeding and the baby's heartrate had been as strong as ever; the doctor was convinced that the baby was perfectly fine, relieving the mother.

The relief faded though as soon as Fin pulled up in front of Liv's apartment building. The bruises on her neck, the stitches in her forehead, and the slight limp she had from what the nurse had assumed was a bone bruise on her left hip, Rafael would be thrilled to find out what had caused it all. "Thank you for everything Fin."

"No problem, Liv. Just take care of yourself." Fin watched her get out of the car and walk through the front door of the building, before he pulled away and headed home himself.

The elevator ride up to her floor seemed to go by at lightning speed, as did the walk to her own front door. She wasn't ready for her husband's reaction, but the faster she got in the faster it would be over. She put her key in the door and opened it to see just what she had expected. It was just past seven thirty in the morning and the whole house was up, Raegan sat in her high chair enjoying her breakfast, Noah was in the living room building with his blocks, the remnants of his breakfast on the front of his pajamas, and Rafael sat at the kitchen table a cup coffee next to him.

"Mommy!" Noah left his blocks, instantly hugging his mother's legs as she walked through the door.

Liv tried to hide the pain in her hip as her son wrestled with her legs. "Hi baby. Did you have a good breakfast?"

"Yeah! Daddy made me pancakes." Noah looked up at his mom, taking in for the first time the black stitches and band aid on her forehead. "Did you get hurt mommy?"

Rafael looked up from the email he had been reading on his phone to see the now stitched gash on her forehead, as well as the finger shaped bruises on her neck. But he didn't get up, he didn't seem panicked or worried, he simply went back to the email.

Olivia watched him, surprised by his lack of reprisal. "Umm… Mommy just got a little cut, but the people at the hospital got it all fixed up for me. Why don't you go put on your school clothes and get ready to go, buddy."

Noah agreed and ran to his bedroom where Olivia had laid out his outfit for the day the night before. She walked further into the apartment, dropping her purse on the couch and going into the kitchen for a glass of water. Rafael still said nothing; he wouldn't even as much as look at Liv. She knew he was beyond mad.

The silence only escalated as time passed. Liv moved on from her glass of water to a cup of coffee. She sipped it slowly, leaning against the counter, hoping for some relief from the tension. She looked up from her cup of coffee to see Rafael stand up from his chair and let Raegan out of her high chair. He put her down and she toddled to her mama. Olivia reached for her, drawing a sharp breath when her hip tried to protest, but she still picked up her daughter, who was still sleepy enough to snuggle up against her.

Rafael was just about to walk into Noah's room to get him so they could leave, when he stopped in his tracks and finally looked at Liv. "Nick called me and told me what happened last night."

Olivia opened her mouth to respond but Rafael left too quickly to hear a response and she also realized that she didn't even know how to respond. But it all explained why Rafael was so upset. He knew what happened, he knew the decisions she had made. This is when their relationship became difficult. In some ways they were on the same page, Rafael had seen what Olivia and her team had to deal with and he himself had to deal with it too, but Rafael was still an attorney, not a cop. When it came to certain situations, he still couldn't understand why she had to make some of the decisions she did.

Rafael returned a moment later, following behind Noah who was dressed with his backpack on.

Olivia leaned down with Raegan still in her arms. "Have a good day, buddy. Mommy will come pick you up today and we can go get a treat. How does that sound?"

"Can we get ice cream?" Noah's face lit up.

"Of course we can." She kissed him goodbye.

Rafael grabbed the little boy's hand. "Come one Noah, we don't want to be late."

Liv stepped towards him. "Look Rafi…"

He turned to her with scowl covering his face. "Save it, Olivia."

"Rafael just give me a chance…"

"Seriously?!" His question came out harsh. "You don't get a chance until you decide that you care about coming home to your family or that you care about the child you're carrying."

Olivia felt Rafael's last comment hit her like a ton of bricks. He promptly walked out of the apartment with their son, knowing that his wife now understood just how upset he was.

Tears stung her eyes as she replayed the statement over and over again. And then she looked down at the little girl in her arms. She loved her so much, just like she loved Noah and her husband. But the job, the job meant a lot to her too; it always would.

"Mama loves you so much Rae."

"Lub you, mama."

 _ *** So not a cliffhanger this time, but Olivia and Rafael have a lot to work on in their relationship; that's most certainly going to come about in the next few chapters. And as always, review and let me know your thoughts! ***_


	9. Chapter 9

The chill of an empty bed ran through her sore body, waking her once more after an already tedious night of sleeplessness. Olivia reached gently over next to her, knowing that she would find nothing more than wrinkled sheets left by her husband. She turned the other way to see the time; it was five thirty, which explained why the kids were still asleep, but didn't explain why Rafael was up already. Even as he had been trying to avoid her and their looming argument, he hadn't been getting up any earlier than normal.

Liv rolled out of bed, almost literally, still utterly exhausted, but done trying to fight for sleep. She padded quietly down the hallway, quickly checking on both of the kids, who were fast asleep, unaware of anything out of the ordinary happening in their home. She backtracked and headed for the kitchen, longing for a large cup of coffee to wake her up. However she stopped just short of the kitchen doorway when she saw Rafael sitting at the table, casually sipping from his cup and reading the newspaper.

"I just made a fresh pot if you want some." Rafael glanced for a brief second over the top of the paper to see his wife, referring to the hot coffee that was steaming inside the glass pot.

Olivia took that as an invitation to enter the kitchen and fill her cup with the steaming caffeine she needed. "You're up early." She was trying to get a sense for the mood of the morning; some days were less tense than others and that particular morning it seemed as there was a shift towards something more pleasant.

There had been moments when certain aspects of their disagreements had come to light, but the couple was still walking on egg shells around each other, Liv more so than Rafael. He had the upper hand. She knew that his concerns were valid and she knew it was only a matter of time before something happened and it all came to blows.

"I couldn't sleep, so I figured there was no point in tossing and turning any longer. And I didn't want to wake you up with my restlessness." Rafael was mad, but that didn't mean that he didn't care about his wife's need for extra rest these days.

"I wasn't…" Olivia stopped mid-sentence. Her head suddenly felt like it was swimming. She set her coffee down, feeling almost like she was unable to stand without holding on to the countertop to support herself.

Rafael stood up from his seat immediately. "Here, Liv." He took her hands and helped her make her way to the table. "Are you okay?"

"I think so, just light headed all of a sudden." Olivia sat forward in the seat she had just taken. She tried to take a few deep breaths.

Rafael got a glass and filled it with water for Liv; she took a few sips to appease him. "When was the last time you ate something?" His question caught her off guard.

She had to think for a moment, recalling the events of the long, previous day. It was mostly a blur; she had a load of case files on her desk, there had been multiple hour long interrogations, and when she had finally come home, Olivia had attempted to get some sleep as soon as possible. "I'm pretty sure I ate lunch yesterday."

"You're pretty sure?" Rafael rolled his eyes in response. "So making sure to eat isn't important anymore either?"

"Rafael don't go there." Liv leaned back in her seat, not ready for another speech from him. "It was a busy day yesterday and I lost track of time. It's not like it's purposeful. Besides, I'm not going to force feed myself when I'm nauseas enough to be nearly running for the bathroom."

"You never said anything about that. Why didn't you tell me you had been feeling so sick?" Rafael sat back down in his seat across from his wife.

Olivia ran her hands through her hair, feeling somewhat guilty now. She had just assumed that Rafael wouldn't be worried about whether or not she was sick; it came with the territory, so it seemed rather unimportant. "It's only been in the last few days. Dr. Russell said it was a possibility that I would still be feeling like this even in the second trimester."

"You don't have to suffer alone though; you can let me know these things." Rafael had softened as soon as he heard his wife was dealing with more symptoms on top of her already high risk pregnancy and her high risk career.

"I just hope it will end soon. I'm not a fan of ending my days hoping that all of my meals don't show back up." They chuckled at her joke.

The parents, however, were interrupted just as they seemed to be breaking down one of their many relationship barriers. "Mommy! Daddy! I want breakfast." Noah had walked into the room, his hair awry and his eyes still sleepy, but with plenty of energy.

Rafael looked at Liv. "I'll get it for him and go wake up Raegan. You can get ready for work."

An hour later the house was abuzz with the ends of everyone's morning routines. Olivia's hair and make-up was done, she was dressed, and finishing what was already her second cup of coffee. The dizziness had subsided and she was feeling as ready as she could be to take on another day at SVU. The kids were just as ready as she was. Noah was practically waiting at the door so his mom could take him to pre-school. Raegan was in the living room playing with her baby doll as Lucy watched her. Rafael was running out the door, briefcase in hand, just as Olivia picked up Noah and opened the front door.

"You'll remember to meet me this afternoon?" Rafael asked his wife as they walked down the hall to the elevator. He was referring to their rescheduled meeting with their realtor.

"I will. I promise no passing out in the squad room today." Liv joked.

"Good, I'll see you later, then." Rafael leaned in for a kiss and Olivia took the opportunity. In the last few weeks she hadn't been able to have more than a two sentence conversation with her husband without an argument, so their morning had come as a pleasant surprise.

"This is the place?" Olivia walked towards where Rafael was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the realtor to arrive. She had luckily been able to leave work in the hands of Fin for the afternoon. But as soon as she pulled up in front of the address Rafael had given her, Liv wasn't sure that she could possibly be in the right place.

Rafael looked up at the brownstone and then back at her. "Is there something wrong with it?"

There was nothing wrong at all; everything about the home was beyond right. It was an all brick brownstone. There was ivy growing up the side of the building and bright, welcoming red front door. When the realtor arrived and took them inside, it became even more picturesque. The kitchen, living room, and dining room opened into one another, all with polished hardwood floors and bright lighting. The second floor housed four bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was exactly what the growing family wanted and so much more.

"What do you think of it?" Rafael and Olivia were standing in one of the bedrooms.

Olivia looked around, picturing Noah's bed, his toy chest, and all of his other belongings filling the empty space. "It couldn't be any more perfect. Are you sure we can do this, though?"

"Yes we can." Rafael told her. "And I think we should."

"So you think we're ready for this?" This time Olivia's question wasn't just about the logistics of money. It was about whether or not their family was ready for this, for the chaos of moving their whole lives to somewhere new, for making this change in their relationship at this point.

"This is what we need and I think it's what both of us want. You know it's going to be stressful to try and get everything here and ready, but this would be a great place to be when the baby comes. To be able to walk through that front door and be a family here, I can picture it already." Rafael chuckled.

Liv looked at the man she had married. His face in that moment was softened, his eyes were bright, and he seemed to be happy just at the thought having his own home with his family. "I want this Rafael. I do. I want this for our family."

In their words there seemed to be a silent agreement, an agreement that meant they were starting to come to terms with the changes that were taking place and what had already changed between them. Marriage had been an interesting ride already and they could both see it wasn't going to get any calmer. If they weren't on the same page, things were not going to work.

"So does that mean that I can go tell the realtor we want to put in an offer?" Rafael looked at his wife, eagerly awaiting an answer.

"You're sure that we can afford to do this?"

"Liv… Yes I am sure."

Olivia showed him a soft smile. "Then yes, go tell the realtor we want this place."

Rafael swiftly left the bedroom and took the stairs back down to the main floor, leaving Liv in the room by herself. She took one more quick look at the upstairs before heading down the stairs herself. As she did so, her phone began to ring and vibrate from her coat pocket. The mom pulled her phone out of her pocket, seeing that it was Lucy, who was at the apartment with both kids.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Rafael questioned her as they ran out of the house and towards their parked cars. She had come into the kitchen where he was discussing details with the realtor, when Olivia had come racing in, saying that they needed to leave.

"Lucy just called me. She said she's on her way to the hospital with the kids. Something happened to Raegan."

 _ *** So a little more of Olivia and Rafael, but there's more to come and it will be showing up in the next chapter. We'll also have to see what happened to Raegan. Reviews please! ***_


	10. Chapter 10

_*** Here you go! ***_

"Olivia, Rafael." Lucy ran out from one of the many exam rooms in the ER to find the parents. They both looked shaken up and beyond worried.

"Lucy what happened? Is Raegan okay?" Liv looked at her with her eyes wide, filled with concern.

Lucy placed a gentle and reassuring hand on her arm. "She's fine. She just thought it would be good idea to dive head first into the corner of the coffee table."

Rafael couldn't help but lose his concern with a small laugh. The little girl was a handful and quite the daredevil compared to overly cautious older brother. Olivia looked at him and they both seemed less than surprised, almost happy to know that it was nothing more serious.

The mom and dad walked into the room, followed by Lucy. Noah ran into Rafael's arm immediately and the father obliged by picking up his son.

Raegan, however, was much less than happy about her parents' arrival. A doctor and nurse were trying to calm her down, but she was having nothing of the sort. Olivia was sure that the whole rest of the hospital could hear her daughter's screams.

"Mama!" The one and a half year old wailed as soon as she saw Liv.

"Oh my sweet girl." Olivia took in the gash that covered her forehead. The bleeding had slowed, but it was still evident that the cut she had received from the piece of furniture was pretty bad. "Is there anything I can do to help?" The mom turned towards the nurse and doctor.

The doctor answered. "She needs at least three stitches. Maybe if she sits on your lap, she'll stay calm enough to let us work. Once we get her forehead and cut numb, she'll probably be a lot happier."

Liv hopped up on the exam table and took Raegan into her lap. She turned to Noah who seemed rather upset about the whole thing. "You know what Noah? Why don't you and daddy go get a treat? And then you can pick out something for Rae, too, so that when she's all done she can have something that will make her feel a little better."

A few hours later, found the family back at home. Rafael had taken Noah to a nearby bakery and they had picked up cupcakes for the entire family. Raegan had eventually calmed down and had earned herself four stitches in her forehead. Though, as soon as she was back at home eating her treat with her brother, no one would have guessed that she had just been in the ER with an open wound. After all the extra sugar, Liv and Rafael struggled a little more with bedtime than normal, but when the kids were finally asleep in their own beds, the parents sat quietly on the couch, mindlessly watching some movie that was on cable.

"You know Rae did considerably well today." Rafael commented.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "For little miss Raegan she certainly did. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised she hasn't done something like that before now. The number of times I've had to stop her from jumping off of things; that one could not be any more opposite than her brother."

"That's for sure. I'm just glad that it wasn't anything worse than that cut. She easily could have given herself a concussion." Rafael took a sip from his glass of wine as he thanked whoever was watching over their risk taking little girl.

"You know, Rafi, I was thinking earlier." Liv started, before continuing. "When we were driving to the hospital right after Lucy called, all I could do was hope and pray that nothing serious happened to our little girl, that she was going to be okay. And in that moment I realized how many times you've had to make that same drive, how many times you've had to hope and pray that when you got there I would still be alive. I can't even begin to imagine what I've put you through."

Rafael set down his glass of wine. "I promise you that you will never be able to imagine what's been like every time."

Liv could feel the slight edge in her husband's voice as she brought up the inevitable. "I know I can't and I am so sorry for all that you've been through."

"Are you really though, Liv?" He looked right into her eyes as he spoke. "I know that your purpose is never to wind up injured or for god's sake, fighting for your life, but do you ever think to yourself maybe today I won't walk into a room with an harmed gunman or maybe I won't follow a sex trafficker to see what I can find?"

"Honestly? No I don't." She told him.

"So if I know that, then how am I supposed to trust that every day when you go to work, you're going to come home that night and be with your family?"

Liv let out a long sigh, taking a sip from her own glass filled with water. "I know it's hard for you to understand and I also know that it will always be something we probably won't ever see eye to eye on, but this job is more than my job. For almost fifteen years, I had nothing else. Instead of having someone to come home to, I had something to leave for every morning or every late night or really early morning. I didn't have a husband, or a son and daughter; all I had were the victims and the perps I spent my days with. For such a long time coming home meant nothing but sleeping and eating to me. And as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I'm still in that mindset; I still have moments where the only thing I can think about is getting justice, no matter how it has to happen. Then when I walk through that front door at night, I realize that justice is my day job and you and the kids are my life and I have to remind myself that work stays at work now, that I get to be a wife and a mom without having to sacrifice everything I have worked for at SVU. But I'm still working on it, I have been working on it since the moment that Noah came home with me and I will probably be working on it until the kids have graduated college. But I promise you it doesn't mean that you all aren't the biggest part of my world, because you are."

"You're right Liv, I don't get all of your side of the job and I'm not the one who has to try and catch these guys, all I have to do is grind them down on the witness stand. And I'm sorry for the way I've reacted; I just see you doing everything and I know that you're trained and that you know what you're doing, but I just can't stand the thought of those two sleeping kids in there waking up one day to something horrible having happened to you… I don't want to wake up one morning to find out you never came home." He stared into his glass, swishing the liquid around, trying to avoid showing his wife any of the emotion that had been evident in his voice.

She laid a gentle hand on his knee, making him finally turn to look at her. "I love you and those kids too much to not come home."

Rafael opened his mouth, ready to continue their conversation when a wail came from the direction of the kids' rooms. They both knew immediately that it was Raegan. Liv got up and retrieved her daughter, who was beyond unhappy.

"Sweet girl, does your head hurt?" She snuggled against her mama, the tears still falling down her face; Olivia took that as a yes. "Rafi, can you get her a few crackers so that we can give her that antiviral and some Tylenol?"

The dad took care of his duties and came back with a small bowl of goldfish and a sippy cup filled with some warm milk. "Here you go, baby."

Raegan had calmed down and was now slowly eating her cracker, snuggled up against Liv. The mom ran her fingers through the little girl's soft, brown locks.

"Are you ready to do all of this again?"

The question from Rafael caught her off guard. She thought for a moment, looking down at her daughter, inhaling the sweet scent of baby shampoo and lotion, and she thought about her brother, who was sleeping down the hall, and couldn't help but smile just at the thought of hearing him say mama and being so excited to see her every morning and night. "At first I wasn't so sure and to be honest, I'm still a little overwhelmed by the thought, but every time I look at her and at Noah, I get a little excited to do it all over again, to have another little one in the house. And this will be the first time I get to bring home an actual newborn."

"The first time _we_ get to bring home a newborn." Rafael smirked.

The parents sat for a while longer, watching Raegan finish her snack and fighting her a bit to get her to take the medicine she needed to. When that task was finished, Rafael headed to bed and Olivia went to put Raegan back down. She went quite easily for the little girl who hated bedtime. But even after she was fast asleep, lying on her belly with her extremities spread out as far as they could, a position that always made her mama laugh, Liv stayed for a few minutes just watching her sleep. When she was sure that her daughter would be fine, she moved on to Noah, who was fast asleep, stuffed turtle help closely.

"Are they both okay?" Rafael asked Liv as she walked into their bedroom.

She nodded with a yawn. "They're both fast asleep and I would like to join them."

The couple got into bed. Rafael turned to look at his wife, who was lying on her back. "What do you think it is?" His hand had carefully and gently found its way to Olivia's small bump.

She set her own hand on top of his. "I don't know. Noah is pretty dead set on a brother, but I wouldn't mind another little girl."

"Mhhmm… I'm not sure I like the idea of being outnumbered by you girls. Noah and I would have a lot of work cut out for us."

"And Raegan and I wouldn't if we have another boy?" Liv chuckled, picturing Rafael playing with his two sons, years from now, kicking the soccer ball, teaching them about baseball. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she saw Raegan joining right along with them; that girl was going to need a sport with the energy she had.

"I'm pretty sure that you and miss sass can handle three boys, better than Noah and I could handle three girls." Both parents were laughing now, picturing what it would be like with three kids.

"I have to tell you, I'm a little worried about that girl and a baby. We may have to invest in some rubber mats and bubble wrap just in case she thinks it's one of her dolls."

There was silence for a moment. Rafael stared at Liv's growing tummy, as his wife watched him. It was all a little surreal yet, even if they had just talked about it like it was the most normal thing they had done.

"You know we're going to be just fine, right?"

Olivia looked up at her husband, their eyes met for a moment. "I know." She kissed him before they finally let the exhaustion of the day take over, both of them sleeping soundly in each other's arms.

 _ *** Oh the fluff! So much fluff, but we all love it don't we? (Ha!) So Raegan is okay and it seems that Liv and Rafi are as well. Now I think it's about time Sergeant Benson tells the rest of her team about baby #3. ***_


	11. Chapter 11

_*** How about that? Another update. ***_

"What's this all about Sarge?" Carisi could never stop with the questions and he didn't make any acceptation as the team filed into Olivia's office at her request.

Amanda turned to look at him. "Can you ever go ten seconds without asking a question?"

"Can either of you go more than a minute without arguing about something?" Fin tried to ask them seriously, but he was laughing at the two young detectives. They had been like brother and sister since Carisi had been transferred to the unit; they always worked well together, but there were very few moments when Amanda and Sonny weren't arguing about any given topic.

"Guys, come on. I have to break up more fights between the two of you than I do with my kids." Liv told them.

Amanda glared quickly at Carisi, who just smirked back at her, and then turned her attention back to her sergeant. "Sorry, Liv."

"So, I know that you probably have all figured out by now that I have something I need to tell all of you." Olivia started, trying her best to find the right words and the right way to say exactly what she needed to. It had taken her two weeks to get to the point of telling the team and even with that much time she hadn't prepared herself for telling them all. Although, she had a rather good excuse, seeing as the last two weeks had been non-stop with cases and trials; nobody at SVU had a moment to spare.

"You know the last two times you've called us all in like this you told us that you were dating Barba and then you told us that you were marrying Barba." Carisi observed. "So what are you going to tell us now, you're having another kid?"

Liv's eyes widened as she realized that Carisi was exactly right. She made eye contact with Fin, who had a look on his face that said he was just as surprised at the male detective's guessing ability.

Nick scoffed. "Carisi, be real here. You don't even know that it's something personal."

"Actually…" Liv couldn't help but smile, trying to hide her laughter over how accurate Sonny had been in his assumption. "As much as I hate to admit it, Carisi hit the nail on the head. Rafael and I are having another baby; I'm pregnant."

"Liv are you serious?" Nick's eyes were wide with disbelief.

Olivia nodded. "Trust me, this wasn't planned and I was just as shocked as all of you look, but I'm completely serious. Honestly, I'm surprised none of you have noticed. You must not be as good a detectives as I thought you all were." She joked with her detectives.

"Sergeant that has nothing to do with being detectives, that just has everything to do with all of them being male. They aren't particularly familiar with such things." Amanda poked fun at all of her male colleagues.

"Yeah right, like you knew Amanda." Carisi called her out.

"Liv's right you guys aren't very good." Amanda said to him.

Olivia had a feeling that Amanda had known for a while now. The young, blonde detective had been on her best behavior, offering to help in any way possible, and Liv could recall a couple of conversations about the kids and things related to children. The sergeant should have known that the only other woman in the squad wouldn't miss something that at eighteen weeks seemed so obvious.

"Hey, I'm just fine at my job. I knew." Fin wasn't going to be made fun of like the other two males in the room.

Olivia pushed herself off her desk, which she had been leaning against, and moved to sit down in her desk chair. "Look, it doesn't matter. Now all of you know. I just want you to be prepared, in case anything happens. There's a possibility I might have to take an early leave and you all should know that there may be some time with a substitute CO."

The door to Olivia's office opened abruptly. "Doesn't anybody in this unit actually work?"

Everyone turned towards the sound of the man's voice that had just entered their conversation. It was none other than Chief Dodds himself, looking high, mighty, and disgruntled as usual.

"It was just a short team meeting while we had a few minutes to spare chief. We're all getting back to work now." Olivia said.

The team took that as their time to leave. They filed out, not saying anything more. Nick stopped for a second, he looked at the chief and then back to his sergeant. "Congrats, Liv." He whispered the words and then left the office, shutting the door behind him.

"So the rumors I've heard must be true." Dodds looked less than amused.

Liv was a little taken aback. She wasn't quite sure what people were talking about to the chief. "Well that depends, what rumors have you been hearing?"

"I've heard from a couple of different people that they thought you might be having another child with your district attorney husband."

If Olivia ever figured out who was spreading rumors about her personal life, they were going to have a rather lovely meeting in the interrogation room until she broke them. The mom was well aware that a pregnancy wasn't something she would be able to hide forever, but she felt as if it was a breech in her privacy to have other people sharing details of her life.

"I don't know why anyone else thinks that it is there business to tell you such things. I am more than aware that you need to be notified, but that it is my place to do so." Olivia told him brusquely.

Chief Dodds sat down in one of the chairs placed in front of Olivia's desk, making himself comfortable. "So then they aren't just rumors?"

She huffed in frustration. "No they aren't just rumors. Rafael and I are expecting another baby."

"So my question sergeant is when were you planning on telling me this?"

"When I got to it. If you look at your paperwork you would know that the last couple of months around here have been rather hectic. I only just told my team this afternoon, as you saw when you barged in. You were next on my list." Liv informed him.

"I expected more from you." Dodds knew just how to push the sergeant's buttons. "I assumed that since this was something that would be having a rather large impact on your duties as commanding officer that I would have been notified right away, as I am the one that would be handling any changes in CO or your status in the department."

Liv took a deep breath, stopping herself from rolling her eyes and spewing out the rather inappropriate words that were running through her mind. "Sir, I didn't mean this as something disrespectful. There are certain milestones in my pregnancy I was waiting to reach before allowing everyone to know. But I have to think you for showing up today, you saved me a trip your office."

"Next time Sergeant Benson, I expect a visit to my office right away." Chief Dodds stood up from his seat and stomped out of the room, obviously perturbed by the conversation he had just finished. However, Liv didn't feel guilty for being rather rude to her boss. He needed her, SVU was only running because of her and even though they weren't always on the same page, Sergeant Benson was an asset he couldn't afford to lose.

The conversation had left Liv in a rather foul mood for the rest of the day and when she walked through the door of the apartment, Rafael could sense that his wife was a little agitated. "Did everything go okay today?" He knew that she was planning on informing the team of their newest bundle.

"I see that hurricane Noah and tornado Raegan have come through here today." She commented on the toys scattered throughout the living room and into the rest of the apartment.

"Yes they have." Rafael walked out of the kitchen and greeted her with a kiss. "Now, why are you avoiding my question about today?"

"Because everything went just fine until Chief Dodds came through my door this afternoon."

Rafael understood now. "And what did your least favorite person want?"

"Just to reprimand me for not telling him right away that I was pregnant. He came waltzing in telling me that people were informing him that we would be having another child. That man is the most irritating human being I have ever met."

"Mommy!" Noah came running into the living room from his bedroom.

"Mama!" Raegan followed closely behind, copying her older brother.

So much for being angry, those faces, that name, her kids were always the best at cheering her up and even in her rage towards Dodds, they still worked their adorable ability to brighten her day.

She kneeled down. "Noah how was preschool today?"

"It was so fun. We went to the park and I got to ride on the swing all by myself." The little boy could not have sounded anymore excited. "Is there going to be a park by the new house?"

Olivia looked at her son, unsure of how to answer his question. They hadn't said anything about moving to him, yet. Liv and Rafael had decided that they wouldn't make mention of it until they were sure that they had a home. But Noah seemed to know something that his mom didn't.

"Rafael, why is he asking about a new house?" Liv stood up and stared at her husband.

He gave her a sheepish grin. "I hadn't gotten a chance to tell you yet."

"You didn't get a chance to tell me what yet?" Olivia questioned him.

"The realtor called me this afternoon." Rafael explained. "She told me that they accepted our offer on the brownstone."

Liv's eyes widened and her mouth sat agape as she took in what she had just been told. The troubles of her day seem to instantly melt away as she learned of the news her and her husband had been waiting for. "You're serious? The house is ours?"

"It's all ours. She said that we can move in within the next month or so if we're ready."

Olivia didn't know what else to say. She hugged her husband and turned back to her son, who still seemed to be searching for an answer to his ever important park question. "It looks like we are going to have to see how close the park is to our new house aren't we, buddy?"

"Then I can show you my swinging!" Noah told her happily.

 _ *** So, the team knows now and there will be continued reactions to that from the whole squad. And now Olivia and Rafael will have to move. I've got a lot of ideas in my head so the next few chapters will be coming shortly. Review, please; all of your thoughts are greatly appreciated! ***_


	12. Chapter 12

_*** Another chapter for you all. Read and enjoy! ***_

"So there are only about seven hundred more boxes to unpack?" Olivia had just finished unwrapping all of the glasses in the kitchen and she knew she was exaggerating, but when she looked around her new home she swore there was nothing but boxes on top of boxes, surrounded by more boxes.

Rafael laughed, putting his hands on her shoulders, coming up behind her from bringing in yet more boxes. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I just brought in the last of the boxes, so the number left to unpack can't grow anymore."

"Wow that just makes me feel so much better about how much is left." Liv playfully rolled her eyes.

It had been a mere six weeks since the night that Rafael had told her they would be purchasing their new home. In what seemed like that short amount of time, they had finished the paperwork, put out their down payment, and packed up their whole apartment. The packing part, however, would not have been done so quickly if it weren't for some down time in sex crimes and murders and the help of Fin, Nick, and Carisi, as Rafael was insistent than any and all heavy lifting be avoided by Liv. At first she had been against him telling her that she couldn't help, but she soon realized that Rafael's request worked in her favor; she got to tell all the boys what to do and how to do from her spot on the couch while playing with her kids.

"Daddy where is my bed?" Noah appeared from around a set of boxes at the bottom of the stairs; he had been exploring the new territory, as it was his first time in the house.

"It's in a box right now." Rafael admitted. "But maybe, it's time for us to find it and put it together. Do you want to help me?"

"Yay!" Noah ran to his father, almost jumping into Rafael arms.

Liv couldn't help but smile at the father son pair and her smile only grew when she felt a pair of small hands tugging at her jeans. She picked up her daughter from the floor. "Noah, how about you and daddy go put your bed and Rae's bed together? Then we can take a lunch break."

"It sounds like we have stuff to do now Noah, let's go get started." Rafael set Noah down and they both ran for the stairs, disappearing to the second floor.

"Your brother and daddy are so funny, aren't they?" Olivia looked down at Raegan, who just laughed.

"Baby, mama." The little girl had her hands on Liv's belly.

"Yeah, that's the baby." Liv moved Raegan's hands over her tummy so that she could feel the baby kicking. "Do you feel that Rae? That's your brother or sister moving in mama's tummy."

"Funny boy." Rae giggled as she pulled her hands away from her mom's stomach, copying the phrase that she had heard her mom and dad say to Noah.

"Oh so you think you're getting a brother too?" Liv was sure it must be a sign that both of her kids thought their newest sibling was a brother. But they wouldn't know for another four or so months, since the parents had decided that they didn't want to find out the gender. They had the amniocentesis test done to make sure the baby was healthy and as soon as they were sure that it was, they didn't care whether or not they were having a girl or a boy.

The next couple of hours went by quickly as Olivia finished unpacking all of the kitchen essentials; she got the plates, cups, utensils and pots and pans put away before her husband and son came back down the stairs after finishing putting together the kids' beds.

"You know for being such little beds, you would think that they would be much easier to put together."

"Well just think, now that those are done you can put together our bed and then in a few months you can look forward to rebuilding the crib again." Liv teased her husband.

He shook his head, taking his plated sandwich that Olivia had just made him for lunch. "Don't even remind me of all that."

"Can the baby sleep in my room?" Noah asked his parents as they all ate their lunches.

"I don't think so, buddy. When the baby is really little it's going to sleep in me and daddy's room and then when it gets older, we'll move them into their own room." Liv explained to him.

He looked a little upset by the news. "When the baby is older can we share my room?"

"That's why we moved into this house, so you, Raegan, and the baby could all have your very own rooms." Rafael tried his hand at telling his son. "But the baby's room will be right across from your room, so when you want to play together you can just run across the hall."

"I'm going to teach him how to play superheroes." Noah said before he returned to his own lunch, the answer from his father had obviously sufficed him.

"Hey sweet boy do you want to go show Rae her new bed?" Liv asked her son later that afternoon as the family was gathered in Noah's room unpacking a few things. She knew that since he had helped his dad put together the bed and since he was the big kid bed expert that he would want to introduce his sister to her toddler bed.

Without even as much as an answer, Noah ran from his own room to the room next door that would be occupied by his little sister. Raegan toddled after him, not knowing why he was leaving but simply because she would follow him anywhere, and the parents brought up the end of the line.

"See Rae this is your bed." Noah pointed to the new white toddler bed that had been purchased for his sister. "You're a big girl now."

"Bed!" Raegan immediately climbed up on the bed. She sat for maybe ten seconds, admiring it, before she realized what else she could do on it.

Rafael was trying to stifle a laugh but he couldn't stop himself and Olivia just rolled her eyes. "We should have known that the first thing she would discover is that she can jump on it." The mom would have expected nothing less of her almost two year old daughter.

"Baby girl, you're not supposed to jump on your bed; you're supposed to sleep in it." Rafael tried to correct her, but he was laughing as the words came out of his mouth and he knew that Raegan wasn't listening.

"Jump, jump!" The little girl squealed with joy as she re-purposed her new bed as a trampoline.

"Come here, girly." Liv snatched Raegan from her bed. "Let's go look at mommy and daddy's bed; you'll like jumping on that one even better."

The king sized bed that Rafael had insisted on, was enjoyed by both kids as a trampoline. After a Liv had spent the whole day unpacking all the little things that needed to be put away, Rafael had finished the kids' beds, their bed, Noah's dresser, Raegan's new toy chest, and a vanity for the master bedroom.

"Mommy I want to sleep in here tonight!" Noah had stopped jumping and was now lying in the sheets on the bed.

"You wish buddy. You get to sleep with your new superhero comforter tonight."

The ringing of a cell phone from downstairs tore Liv away from Rafi and the kids, leaving them to play on the new bed. The squeals from Noah and Raegan faded slowly as the mom jogged down the stairs, picking her phone up just in time. Nick was on the other line and immediately, Olivia knew that her day had just become that much longer.

Rafael had come back down the stairs with the kids as his wife finished her conversation. "Who needs you now?"

"I'm not really sure." Liv was putting her phone in her purse and searching for her jacket in the mess of paper and boxes. "Nick didn't say much except that I needed to get down to the precinct as soon as possible."

"Well go ahead. We're fine here. I'll order something for dinner and get these wild things to bed." Rafael was trying his best to be understanding.

Olivia had found her coat and put it on before saying goodbye to Raegan, Noah, and Rafael. "I'll try to make this as quick as I can."

Twenty minutes later the sergeant found herself walking through the squad room to her office before she stopped dead in her tracks. "Chief Dodds is here?"

Fin got up from his desk where he had been sitting. "Yeah, he got here right after Nick called you. We didn't know he was going to show up or we would have given you some warning." The eldest detective looked like he had more to say, but his sergeant walked away before he could finish.

Liv took a deep breath and braced herself for the encounter she was most likely about to have. After their last meeting, the chief and sergeant were not on the best of terms. And Olivia not already being at the precinct when whatever this case was came in didn't look so good.

"Glad to see you could finally join us, Sergeant." Dodds commented as she came through her office door, removing her purse and coat.

"And it is just so nice to see you on this Saturday evening." Liv tried to sound pleasant, but she knew her boss could read right through her.

"Look." Chief Dodds said, getting right down to business. "I know that you are capable of keeping all of this under wraps and I am asking that you make sure your team will keep this case private, as it should be for your own sake and the sake of the victim. I don't want to make another trip in here to remind you."

"Sir, I mean no disrespect, but what is going on? I don't know anything about the case. Nick called me in and said that it was urgent, but I was given no details."

"Your victim is in the interview room and if I were you, I would go check on her. It will explain a lot."

Olivia took Chief Dodds advice and left her office to peak into the interview room, but the moment Olivia's eyes saw through the window of the room, she stopped, unable to go any further.

Detective Amanda Rollins sat in a chair, fidgeting with her hands, her face was dirty, covered in scratches and bruises, as were her arms and what Liv could make out of her legs. The look on her face was filled with fear and shame. The sergeant's own detective was their victim.

 _ *** I should probably be nice and stop leaving you all with cliffhangers, but they just make for such a good read that I can't help myself. As always, review and let me know what you think! ***_


	13. Chapter 13

"She won't even talk to me." Fin came up behind his sergeant where she stood frozen outside the interview room. His voice was filled with defeat, and when she turned to look at him, Olivia could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Fin…" She sighed. "You can't blame yourself for this… or her."

Olivia looked at it all like a two way mirror. She had spent dozens of hours reassuring victims, making sure they understood that nothing, absolutely nothing that had happened to them was in any way their fault. But Liv had been on the other side, just about the darkest other side of it that she could be, and she knew that words didn't always carry a lot of meaning when you had been brutalized. For Amanda, she knew what it was like to be on the other side of their job; at that moment, there was no one, none of the men in the squad that would be able to understand why Amanda needed what she did. Liv was the only possible person that the young, blonde detective could relate too.

Amanda's petite body was shaking when Olivia finally entered the room. The closer the sergeant got to her detective, the worse shape she realized she was in. "Amanda…" Empathy dripped from the tone of Liv's voice.

"I…I'm…I'm so sorry…" Amanda apologized, tears rattled her small frame.

Olivia sat down in the seat next to her. "No… you are not allowed to say that. You do not get to apologize for the bastard who did this."

The blonde shook her head as the tears fell down her face. "Why?" The question was so quiet, Olivia almost missed it. And she would have like to have missed it because it was the question that was hard enough to answer for herself even over a year later, let alone for the woman sitting right next to her who was only hours out from an attack that would leave her changed forever.

"I wish I could tell you…" Olivia placed a gentle hand on Amanda's knee.

There was a moment of silence among them. Amanda had stopped her tears, but that didn't do anything to hide the shame in her eyes.

"I know we need to…" She couldn't even say the words.

"We do. I know it's the last place you want to go, but we need whatever evidence we can get and you need to be checked out."

They both stood up and slowly walked towards the door; Olivia followed Amanda closely, but she stopped when the young woman turned to look at her. "You'll stay with me for it?"

"I don't leave that room until you do." Liv genuinely assured her.

And Olivia kept her promise, staying by Amanda's side for the whole five hour ordeal that was a rape kit that would hopefully help SVU catch the man who had hurt one of their own.

"How is she? Is she okay?" Fin ambushed Olivia as she walked out of the hospital room, allowing Amanda to change before the sergeant was going to take her home after the exam.

"Woah… Fin, take it easy." She rubbed an exhausted hand over her face. It was nearing two am and the pregnant sergeant was on the verge of passing out from exhaustion.

"I'm not taking it easy until we find this guy and you let me put a bullet through his head." Fin was more than serious. He would have done anything to punish the man that attacked his partner.

Liv gripped his shoulder underneath her hand. "Fin, you can do that later alright? Right now, she needs us to let her be for a little bit. We can't go after all of this quite yet. She is not ready and the last thing she needs is any of us trying to help a little more than she's ready for. You know her; Amanda will shut down if this all moves too fast."

"I just want to help." Fin admitted, showing just how helpless he was feeling.

"I know you do; I want to, too." Olivia told him. "But she needs to be ready, first."

* * *

"Now, Detective Rollins, I know that this is difficult, but can you tell us what happened on the night of your attack?" The DA, Travis Franklin, who had been assigned to special victims unit just a few months earlier, stood in front of the witness stand. He was doing his best to stay empathetic with Amanda, as working with victims as witnesses was new to the young attorney.

It had taken nearly two months, seven weeks and two days to be completely exact, to get Rollin's case to trial, much longer than anyone on the team had hoped and long enough for Amanda to be counting the days. But finding all the evidence they needed to make a solid case that would have no other result but a conviction had taken time. Now everyone, Nick and Fin being held back by Olivia and Carisi, was in the courtroom watching Amanda testify.

"I was walking home from the subway stop on fourth after being in court all day. There's this… this alleyway between my apartment building and the building next door. I was walking by it when…" The female detective took a deep breath. "A man was in the alley, it was dark and he was wearing black, so… so I didn't notice him until it was too late."

"Can you identify the man that was in the alley that night?" Franklin asked.

She pointed to the defendant, Austin Pratt, a disgusting family man who when interrogated claimed to be playing out a sick, twisted fantasy when he attacked Amanda. It was a horrible defense and he made the whole squads skin crawl. "It was him."

"Let the record reflect that the witness has identified the defendant, Austin Pratt." Franklin said. "What happened after you noticed Mr. Pratt?"

"He hit me with something and then grabbed me by my hair and threw me down. I… I hit the asphalt and scrapped my hands, knees, and face against it. He pulled me by my arms, dislocating my shoulder, further into the alley, where he…"

"I know this is difficult, detective." The DA prodded her gently.

"He flipped me over on my stomach… and pushed me against the asphalt again, but this time he undid my belt buckle, pulled my pants down and… he… he put himself… he was inside of me."

"Did he say anything while he was attacking you?"

Amanda paused before giving her answer and Olivia from where she sat in the bench directly in front of the witness stand, could see that the question had brought her back to that moment; sometimes words were more powerful than actions; an attackers voice never left.

"He told me 'I'm glad you're a well behaved bitch'." Amanda felt her voice break at that last detail.

"Thank you Detective Rollins." Franklin sounded genuine. "No further questions, your honor."

The judge looked at Amanda and could see as soon as the defense attorney stood to begin his cross examination that she was not ready for anymore that day; the young blonde was clammy, her breathing had ceased to be steady and was instead shallow and uneasy. "It has been a long enough day; I am calling for a recess until tomorrow morning. We will reconvene at nine am."

The bang of the judges gave made Amanda jump, but she soon realized that she was free to go and dashed out of the witness stand as fast as she possibly could. Liv followed after her, leaving the men of the squad to their own accord. Her only concern was Amanda and being able to understand just how traumatic her testimony had just been.

"Amanda…" Olivia found the blonde sitting in one of the benches outside the courtroom, her head was in her hands, and as soon as she heard her sergeant's voice she wiped away the tears that had begun to fall.

"I'm fine." She had a stoic look on her face.

But Liv knew the truth. "You aren't fine. And you don't have to be fine. Not when it's us. I get it and I get that you are not okay."

Amanda stared into Olivia's eyes and could see that the woman was beyond sincere in her understanding of how she was feeling. "Does it ever get better?"

"It may not seem like it now, but that was the worst of it and also the best thing you can possibly do." Liv looked right back at Amanda as she spoke, although her own experience was playing out in the back of her head like an old recording that had been dug up. "Nothing is worse than sitting in front of complete strangers and telling them that someone got the upper hand and did something terrible to you. But it's the best way to put that man away. And I promise you that it will not be easy and it will not be immediate, but when he is finally behind those metal bars, you'll start to regain your life."

"I just want it all to be over. I want everything to get back to normal." Amanda confessed.

"It will. I will and the team will do everything in our power to do that for you." Normalcy was a concept all too familiar with the sergeant.

"At least I know that if this doesn't go the way I want, Fin is willing to lose his career to kill the bastard."

"That is very true." Liv let out a small chuckle. "Now can I give you ride home? I think it's time you get out of this place and you need some rest."

Amanda nodded and stood up with Olivia. "Thank you."

Olivia gave her a warm, comforting smile, before they walked out of the courthouse towards the car, knowing the thank you wasn't just for the ride.

"I'll swing by and come get you in the morning, if you need me to." Liv offered as she walked Amanda up to her apartment.

"You don't have to worry about it." Amanda assured her. "Nick already offered."

"I will see you in the morning then." Liv headed back the way she came.

Amanda stopped her before she could turn the corner of the hallway, though. "Thanks, again Liv… for everything."

"It's what I'm here for Amanda."

Olivia didn't know if Amanda would ever be quite the same, she didn't even know that she was quite the same person as she had been before William Lewis, but she certainly hoped that the young detective was moving in the right direction. Liv did know, however, that as soon as she got home she was going to be hugging Rafael and the kids a little harder; tonight she was beyond grateful to have people who loved her waiting at home for her. If it wasn't for all of them, Liv was sure that she would be in a worse place than Amanda. For Rafael, Noah, Raegan, and even her unborn child, she was more than thankful.

 _ *** I kind of enjoy working with the relationship between Olivia and Amanda; it's interesting to say the least and I think there will be more of it to come. Also for any of you not up on your math, Liv is about 32 weeks along and the story is going to move more into the new Barson baby now. Leave me all of your sweet reviews, please! ***_


	14. Chapter 14

_*** Just so everyone is on the same page, this story isn't going to become all about the squad. I enjoy looking at and exploring the relationships Olivia has with her team, but this has been and will always be a story about the Barson family I have created. I want everyone reading this to enjoy Olivia and Rafael. With that being said, here is the newest chapter! ***_

"Mama, up." Raegan tugged at her mother's pant leg from where she stood. After admiring Olivia put her lipstick on, the little girl had spent enough time watching and wanted in on the action.

Liv leaned over and scooped up her daughter from the floor; as she did so, she sucked in a sharp breath as her back screamed in protest. Lifting the almost two year old was becoming more and more of a struggle for the pregnant sergeant. "It's a good thing you're so stinking cute; I wouldn't do this for just anyone." Liv joked with her daughter, who had no idea what her mama was telling her, but giggled right along anyway.

"See No?" Raegan had not yet mastered her brother's name, so instead she always sounded like she was refusing when she wanted to go see Noah.

"That sounds like a good idea. Why don't we go have breakfast with Noah and daddy?" Olivia left her room, dressed and ready for another day of work. She could only hope that she would be able to get through breakfast without a call from one of her detectives. Even after a guilty verdict against Austin Pratt, Amanda wasn't yet ready to return to work and the sergeant was trying not push her, so it left some duties to be covered by the rest of the team, CO included.

After carrying her down the stairs, Liv set Raegan back down and let her run to the kitchen in search of her two favorite boys.

"Good morning my sweet girl." Rafael lifted his daughter high above his head, making her scream with delight, before bringing her back down into his arms. "Where is mama?"

"I'm right behind the wild child." Liv joked about her energetic daughter. "I wish I had that much energy at this time of day… or ever."

Rafael grabbed the plate of eggs he had just finished cooking and went to set them down on the table. "You know you would have a lot more energy if you would slow down at work."

Olivia rolled her eyes in response, knowing what conversation they were about to have once again. "It's not like I'm happy about all of this. I would love to not be running around the squad room twenty four seven right now, but with Amanda still out, I can't afford to not be there." Liv attempted to get herself a coffee cup from the cabinet as she thwarted off her husband's attempt to make her go on maternity leave early. But as soon as she reached for the cup, another sharp pain went soaring through her lower back. She hoped Rafael wouldn't notice, but the small moan that had left her made him turn back to her immediately.

"Here." Rafael set Raegan down in her high chair and went to grab the cup for her. "This is exactly what I am talking about."

Olivia let out a deep breath and leaned against the counter; Rafael's hands found their way to her lower back as he placed some pressure on the points that he knew ached most. "I'm pretty sure it's the child I am carrying, not my job, that is causing my back pain. You know I can't just leave Rafi. I'm working on getting a new sergeant and CO assigned, but until then, I'm stuck."

Rafael kept his hands moving. "I know babe. Just be careful. You deserve a little break."

"I know…" Liv stood up suddenly, a pained look on her face.

"You alright, Liv?" Rafael was rather worried about his pregnant wife. She just seemed a little off to him this morning.

Olivia nodded and took a few deep breaths. "It's just Braxton Hicks. They're acting up today."

"Seriously would one day off kill you?"

"Rafael Barba if you bring it up one more time…" The tone of Olivia's voice was conversation ending. Rafael knew not to push it anymore and he let it be for the remainder of the breakfast, instead offering to take Noah to school for his wife to take something off of her plate.

The parents, after Lucy arrived to spend the day with Raegan, went their separate ways. Liv kissed her son and husband good bye, trying to work up all the strength she could to get through another day at SVU.

When the commanding officer showed up at work half an hour later, she knew that her tough morning was going to be nothing compared to the day she was about to have. The chaos in the squad room itself should have been her first clue, but when she walked into her office to find her least favorite person, it became evident that she was in for a long one.

"Sergeant Benson." Chief Dodds greeted her with an annoying grin.

Olivia hung her coat up and placed her purse on her desk. "To what do I owe this visit?"

"I've just come to check in." Dodds' answer sounded suspicious.

"You never come to just check in. What can I really do for you?" Liv tried to stay pleasant, but she was having a rather hard time finding the energy to do so.

Dodds took a seat in one of the chairs that sat facing Olivia's desk, making himself comfortable. "I'm worried about the case load that's been coming in. You have four open investigations right now and you're down a detective."

Liv took a seat in her own desk chair. "We are doing everything we can to finish these cases and we will get it done. We've all taken on more responsibility. I've been able to handle most of Detective Rollins' duties. I will do everything I can to make sure that none of these cases get left unfinished." Olivia wasn't one to be apologetic, but she was in no mood to be scolded by her superior and she just wanted him to be appeased.

"That's why I'm here Sergeant." Dodds looked almost concern. "I'm not happy with your personal choices and with what has happened in this squad, but I also know that we're getting to the point in which someone needs to come in and relieve you of some of the work load. I don't need your husband suing me for allowing you to do too much in your condition."

"Trust me; my husband would sue me before he would sue you over this job." Liv told him, thinking back to the conversation she had with Rafael only an hour earlier.

"Look, I have some people who you might find at least somewhat capable. Let me send you their jackets and you can find some other people to come in and help." Dodds stood up from his chair.

"Thank you." Olivia tried to match her boss' actions, but was interrupted half way through standing up when a shocking pain pulsed through her abdomen and lower back. The sergeant tried to hide her discomfort behind gritted teeth as she watched Dodds leave her office.

Liv leaned over her desk, trying to catch her breath. The pain slowly subsided and her breathing evened out, but something was off. Her Braxton Hicks caused discomfort, but pain like she had just felt wasn't what normally came of them. However, with the cases piling up, the mom brushed it aside and went to work, hoping that it was just a fluke. That was until, the early afternoon came around and the pain was becoming more and more consistent. By two pm, the sergeant had decided that she was done for the day. She still didn't know what was causing the pain, but she was no use to the team when she was distracted and the last thing she wanted to be doing was sitting at her desk. If she went home, laid down, maybe it would all pass.

Olivia stepped out of her office, into the now empty and quiet squad room. Fin was the only one left, as Nick and Carisi had gone to question a witness and the chaos of the morning had been filed and was now alongside Liv's growing pile of work. "Fin could…" Liv tried to ask her question, but was interrupted when the same, now familiar pain seared through her, worse than it had been previously.

At the sound of his name, Fin had looked up to see Liv gripping the door frame of her office door, looking distressed. "Liv are you okay?" He had come to her aid, taking her arm and leading her to the closest empty desk chair.

She didn't answer right away, but as soon as she looked up at him Fin knew something off. "I don't know…"

"What can I do Liv? Do you need something from me?"

"I don't…" But she didn't finish her thought, when she gripped Fin's hand with all of her might as she tried to fight against the pain.

Fin didn't know what else to do, but let Liv do what she needed. He had no idea what was happening, but he knew that whatever she was going through wasn't normal. "Maybe I should call Barba, Liv."

"Something is really wrong Fin." Olivia's voice was shaky and small.

Even after sixteen years together, Fin wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. Liv never showed much emotion, but he knew in that moment that she needed him and that whatever was happening was scaring her. But the man felt so out of his element. Only once, after finding Liv in the beach house, had he seen her with her guard down, exposed, and vulnerable. This was not what he was used to.

"What do you think is wrong?" Fin felt rather dumb asking the question.

"I think I'm having contractions." She sounded breathless.

Fin thought he realized what that meant. "Wait, Liv, you're in labor? You need to let me get you to the hospital."

But Olivia shook her head in response to Fin's suggestion. "I can't be doing this… not yet."

"I don't think that you really have a choice any more Liv." Fin just didn't quite understand. "Look, I'll call Barba he'll meet you there and everything will be fine."

"It's not going to be fine. I can't do this yet."

"Women have babies every day, Liv. You're ready; you'll be okay."

When what Olivia was assuming was another contraction finished, she looked back up at the man trying to help her. "Fin, I'm not due for another two months…"

That's when Fin finally realized it. It had nothing to do with Olivia being just scared or worried about delivering her baby. This had everything to do with the possibility that Liv and her third child may not be okay. He instantly helped her up and got her to the squad car. Fin flipped on his sirens and sped through the city to the hospital, only hoping that everything might turn in favor of his sergeant.

 _ *** You can never have too many cliffhangers (that's my motto, obviously); now what is going to happen to Liv and the baby? The next chapter will tell. Until then, leave me your thoughts and comments. All of your reviews are so appreciated! ***_


	15. Chapter 15

_*** This chapter basically wrote itself. This is a part of the storyline that I have been thinking about for quite a while now and I knew exactly what I wanted out of it, so that is why this update is coming so quickly. Now you can read it and hopefully enjoy it! ***_

"Rafael." Dr. Russell left the nurse she had been discussing another patient with and flagged down the husband of her, at that moment, most important patient.

When he approached her, he was immediately a mess of words. "What is going on? She's not… She can't have the baby yet. Is she in labor? What is…"

"Rafael, take a deep breath okay? You need to calm down." Dr. Russell guided him further into the maternity ward, looking for a little bit of privacy before she began to discuss the specifics with him. "Right now, we all just need to stay calm and make Olivia feel as comfortable as we can. She needs out support right now."

He took a deep breath. "So what's going on?"

"Olivia is having some pretty strong contractions."

"What does that mean?" Rafael asked. "I thought that if she was having contractions that meant that she was in labor?"

"Well it does." Dr. Russell admitted.

Rafael let out a frustrated sigh. "She isn't due for eight weeks…"

"That is why we are doing our best to stop the contractions now. It might take some time, it depends on the patient, but we are doing to all that we can to stop the labor now. Olivia's water didn't break, so that makes it much more likely that the medication will work and we'll be able to stop the labor from progressing and ultimately reverse it."

"Does this mean that…?" Rafael didn't even want to think about it.

Dr. Russell nodded, knowing what was asking about. "We're going to have to put her on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy if we don't have to deliver early."

"I wish you the best of luck in having to tell her that." Rafael was remembering the talk they had just that morning. His wife didn't even want to take a day off, let alone the next couple of months.

"I know that this is going to be very difficult for her and you and when you have two small children at home and your careers, but if she wants to deliver a healthy baby at full term she is going to have to do this." Dr. Russell was well aware of the stubbornness of her patient, but she also knew that she was a mother and that meant that no matter how much she hated the idea of bed rest, Olivia would find the strength to do what was best for her child.

"Can I see her?" Rafael decided they would deal with the inevitable later, right now he knew that even if Liv would never admit it, she needed him.

"Absolutely." Dr. Russell continued down the hallway they had already started walking and stopped in front of what was Olivia's room. "Her contractions are still pretty strong yet, so she's in some pain and I think she could really use you. I'll be back shortly to check on her and reevaluate where we are."

Rafael stopped just short of turning the door handle. In that moment, as he was about to walk in, he realized that he wasn't familiar with this. There had been the accident nearly two years ago, when Olivia had been attacked and Noah taken, but that was different. Maybe he had been there for Liv, but they weren't in a relationship, let alone married. He didn't know what do when she was in pain or scared. They had been through a lot, but it seemed they always had their walls up, even with each other, and that meant that they both stayed strong and didn't collapse. Rafael didn't know how difficult it would be to watch Liv physically and emotionally be in pain.

He pushed through the door anyway. Fin was still there sitting in a chair next to Olivia's bed. Fin noticed Rafael right away, but Liv was looking away from the door, her eyes shut tight and her hand gripping the plastic bed railing. Through gritted teach she let out a painful moan.

Fin got up from the chair grabbing his coat off the back of it. "I hope you don't mind that I stayed. I didn't want to leave her."

"Of course not. I'm glad you were with her." The husband really was grateful for Fin. He had called him as soon as they arrived at the hospital and without him, Olivia may not have made it in time and instead the parents would be worrying about delivering their third child two months early.

"If you need anything let me know." Fin left the room, somewhat relieved to no longer have to watch his sergeant, who was much more like family, writhe in pain.

Rafael took Fin's place, laying his suit jacket on the chair, but reaching for his wife's hand instead of sitting down. She gripped it back immediately and he knew that she meant it as a way of saying she needed him and wanted him by her side.

"I'm so sorry." Liv stared straight forward and her voice was so small, so guilt ridden.

Rafael, swept the hair out of her face, and gently put a hand on her chin, turning her face towards him. "None of this is your fault. I am not blaming you, Dr. Russell is not blaming you, and you don't get to blame yourself."

"But I could have prevented this. I should have prevented this. I should have been taking it slower at work. I needed another detective long before now and I should have already have had another CO coming in."

Rafael opened his mouth to answer her, but stopped when the grip on his hand tightened and her breathing became uneven. He didn't know what to do, besides allow her to crush his hand and encourage her to breathe through the contraction he assumed she was having. When she finally eased up and turned back to him, he started to talk. "All of those things are unimportant now, okay? We knew from the moment that we found out about this baby, that there were risks involved and we knew the complications that could come of it. This was somewhat inevitable, so do not blame yourself. I know how much you love your children and I know that you would never do anything to harm them."

"I just want to know that our baby is going to be fine." Olivia sighed.

"Whatever happens we are going to handle it." Rafael assured his wife; he couldn't tell her that everything would be okay because he didn't know for sure and Liv was not going to believe anything until she saw it for herself, so instead he took on his role as caretaker.

Dr. Russell returned to Olivia's room a little over an hour later, apologizing for having taken so long. "It looks like your contractions have slowed some; they're about every twelve to fifteen minutes, which is much better than five to seven minutes. Are they any less painful?"

Liv nodded. "Quite a bit less."

"Good; that's a really good sign, it means we are headed in the right direction." Dr. Russell gave her patient a warm and reassuring smile, knowing the stress pre-term labor caused a mother. "I am going to go ahead and give you a little more medication. I want to see if we can't get those contractions to stop completely, or at least slow to every couple of hours and get them so you are barely feeling them."

"How much longer do you think it will be?" Rafael asked the female doctor.

Dr. Russell looked at the time on the clock in the room. "At this point I would say we're looking at another four to six hours, possibly more. If it takes longer, I may just keep you overnight."

"What happens if they don't stop?" Liv asked her, just as another contraction hit her. She tried her best to breathe through it, the pain less than it had been a couple of hours earlier.

The doctor waited until the contraction was over to speak. "If they don't stop within the next twelve hours at most, we'll just let the labor progress naturally. A baby born at thirty two weeks carries some risks, but I feel confident that there would be nothing major wrong. You have had a healthy pregnancy up to this point; I would say worst case scenario is some breathing issues because of the baby's underdeveloped lungs and some time spent in the NICU."

"But they would be okay?" It was all the mom wanted to know.

"I think if it does come to that point, you both should not be too worried about any serious complications for your baby."

"What happens if you do get them to stop? Where do we go from there?" Rafael knew pretty well what the answer would probably be.

"Strict bed rest." Dr. Russell announced the inevitable.

Olivia looked almost heartbroken about her doctor's answer. "For how long?"

"It would be at least a month, hopefully longer than that." Dr. Russell told the parents. "Although, delivering right now would not be the worst possible outcome, I would much rather this baby is born full term. Thirty six weeks is considered full term and while the preference is always to get to your due date at forty weeks, any time after thirty six weeks, I can basically guarantee you both a healthy baby."

Rafael and Olivia shared a look. The husband knew that his wife was more than upset about the answer she had just been given, but he also knew that whatever needed to be done for her baby, Liv would do, even if it meant a lot of protesting to get there.

"Now, we'll discuss that more when we get to it. For now, I want to get these contractions stopped and why don't you try to get some rest as they start to slow down, I know this has been a stressful day for you both."

Olivia watched the doctor walk out of her room before she turned to look at Rafael. "How are we supposed to do this, Rafi? You can't take that much time off of work and I can't ask Lucy to be with us twenty four seven to help you."

"Liv, take a breath." Rafael stopped her rambling.

"What are we going to do?"

"We are going to do whatever we have to, Liv. The squad will worry about work for you. My mom is more than willing to help us. We will make it through this and you don't need to worry about all of it. All you need to worry about is yourself and the baby."

"Noah and Raegan need me, though. I don't want to have to miss out on time with them. I know that this baby is important, but I don't want them to feel left behind."

"They'll be alright. Raegan won't understand it and Noah hasn't showed any jealousy yet. You can't stress about it right now."

"Tell me that in a few weeks when you're dealing with them both alone. All I ask is that you keep Raegan out of the emergency room until after the baby is born." Liv tried to slightly lighten the mood with the joke, but in some ways she wasn't really kidding.

Rafael did stifle a laugh, however. "I can't make any promises with that girl, but I will do my best."

The room became much quieter in the next couple of hours. Dr. Russell came in a couple of times, seeming to feel pretty positive that everything was going as planned and she didn't expect that they would be meeting their baby any time too soon, though she made the decision to keep Olivia in the hospital overnight just for safe keeping.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep Liv?" Rafael suggested as she seemed to be slowly tiring more and more. They would be there until the morning anyway, she might as well get any extra rest she could. "I'm going to check on my mom and the kids."

"Have her tell them I love them for me." The mom felt that with everything that would be happening the Noah and Raegan needed to know how much they meant to her.

"Will do. Now get some sleep, Liv. You need it." He leaned over the bed and gave her a small kiss. "We'll be alright."

Even though Rafael sounded sure that his family would get through the next month or longer, he could never say for sure. He wanted it all to be over with a happy ending, with his wife, son, and daughter all at home with the newest addition to their family. But it wasn't going to be that simple and only time would tell whether or not the family could get through all the unexpected to come.

 _ *** There you have it: Olivia and the baby are okay (for now). I have a lot of ideas that I am toying with right now, so we'll see what is to come. Keep leaving me all the great reviews; I really want to know what all of you think of the story! ***_


	16. Chapter 16

She rolled over from her side of the bed toward him, reaching her arms around his back and torso. He shifted slightly and rolled over to look at his wife. Her eyes were still filled with sleep, but even with her hair tousled by her night's rest and her face clean of any make up, he was sure that she had never looked more beautiful.

"You're up already?" Rafael asked Olivia as he leaned in for a good morning kiss, his lips softly meeting hers.

"How am I supposed to be tired enough to sleep any longer when I don't do anything but lay in this bed all day?" Liv pouted playfully, although she was making a valid point.

Rafael gave her an empathetic smile, knowing just how much the order from her doctor was killing her. "Look at the bright side; you can have the baby at any time now and he or she will be healthy."

After what was probably the longest month for the mom and all of those closely involved, Rafael, Noah, Raegan, and at times Lucy and Rosa Barba, Olivia had finally made it to the thirty six week mark. It was an accomplishment that, while not enjoyed, also meant a safe and healthy delivery for the baby. Although, it had been difficult, both parents were thankful that they were in the safe zone and could relax a little bit.

"You say that, but we both know that we need to be closer forty weeks and this baby has now decided after its previous drama that it is no longer in any hurry to be here." Liv pushed herself up, sitting up against her pillows. "I had one false contraction yesterday. One. I know I should be grateful that they weren't born early, but this baby better not change their mind and come late now."

Rafi couldn't help but laugh at Liv and the fact that their child seemed to be just as stubborn as she was. "Oh you know you're looking forward to a few more weeks on bed rest."

"You know sometimes…" Olivia was shaking her head in disagreement, but she was also trying not to laugh at her husband's joke and as she realized just how desperate she sounded.

"Mama, mama." Before that morning's conversation could continue, Raegan came waltzing into her parents' bedroom, her hair awry and a doll in her chubby, little hands.

"Well good morning little miss." Liv ran a hand through her daughter's hair, trying to tame the dark mane.

She walked away, however, and ended up on the other side of the bed, staring up with her big brown eyes at her father. "Up, daddy, up."

"Oh you want up do you?" Rafael scooped her up off the floor and set her down in between himself and Olivia, before he began to tickled her tummy, happy squeals filling the bedroom. "Is that what you wanted? Is it?"

"Mommy! Daddy!" Noah came rushing through the bedroom door in his Spiderman pajamas, not wanting to miss out on any of the fun.

Liv looked at Rafael. "Well this looks like a regular Sunday morning party."

Noah quickly climbed on the bed, finding a spot next to Raegan. "Is the baby awake yet, mommy?"

Since she had been assigned to bed rest, Olivia had to become creative in the ways she was able to spend quality time with Noah and Raegan. Raegan had been rather difficult as she couldn't and wouldn't sit still. But with Noah, Liv was able to set aside sometime every day for reading with him after school, playing board games, or simply watching Finding Nemo and Cars over and over again. And in that time, Noah had taken a real interest in his newest sibling. There had been times when he would sit through a whole movie with his little hand on Olivia's tummy, feeling his brother or sister move. He was so excited every time there was a little kick under the weight of his hand.

"You know what? I think they are." Liv took her son's hand and placed just under her rib cage. "Do you feel them?"

"The baby waked up early just like us!" Noah felt around, trying to feel another kick.

"I think the baby is going to be up much earlier than all of when they get here." Rafael said. "Probably later, too."

"And daddy will be on five am diaper duty so mama can sleep." Liv smirked at her husband.

He, though, shot her a confused glance, before thinking it over. "I'll take diaper duty all night if it means I never have to sit through another episode of Peppa Pig with Raegan. She's obsessed and I'm so tired of it." Rafael wasn't the biggest fan of his children's favorite TV shows about a British pig and all of her animal friends.

"You know what Raegan, we will be watching Peppa Pig from now on and daddy will be up to his eyes in dirty diapers."

Their morning in bed as a family only lasted so long before both Noah and Raegan were restless and ready for breakfast. Rafael tended to his fatherly duties, making pancakes to celebrate a Sunday off, bringing a small stack to Olivia in bed. As the day progressed, Rafael decided that he would take the kids to the park and allow Olivia some peace and quiet for a nap that he knew she wanted more than she would admit.

"What should we have for snack today?" Rafael asked as he traipsed into the kitchen with Noah and Raegan following behind him after returning from the park.

"Fishy!" Ragaen squealed, referring to Goldfish, her absolute favorite snack.

"I want an apple, daddy." Noah gave his input.

Rafael began reaching for the items he needed. "How about a compromise, I will cut up an apple that you both can share and you can both have crackers too?"

"Yes!" Noah agreed enthusiastically.

The father and children ended up in the living room, Finding Nemo playing on the TV for the millionth time as they enjoyed their snack and played with their toys, content with each other's company. That was until another person was added to their play time.

"Olivia Benson, what am I going to do with you?" Rafael watched as his very pregnant wife came down the stairs.

"All I want is to lay on the couch with you and watch the kids play. Is it really going to kill you to let me do that?" Olivia huffed as she placed herself on the couch. "Besides, going down the stairs one time is not going to make me go into labor."

Rafael sighed, knowing that Liv only wanted to be able to spend one of the few Sunday's they had left as a family of four together. "I guess we can make an acceptation this one time."

"Good because there wasn't really going to be any other answer that I would accept."

She positioned herself next to Rafael, her legs propped up on the couch in front of her so that her back was facing her husband. Knowing what that meant, Rafael took the cue and began to massage her lower back, absent mindedly watching the kids as he tried to relieve the lower back pain that his wife was struggling with. He moved his free hand so it was resting on her stomach, feeling the baby kick as Liv laid her head back on his shoulder.

"Mama?" Noah looked up from the toy cars he was playing with.

"Yeah, baby?" Liv waited for him to continue.

Noah turned to look at the TV quickly and then back to his mom. "Can we name the baby after Nemo?"

Rafael couldn't help but laugh at his son's question. "Buddy, I think that Nemo is a name best suited for a fish."

"But I like the name!" Noah argued.

"I know you do, Noah." Liv interjected. "But we don't want people to think of a fish when they see your little brother or sister."

Noah huffed in anger, upset by his parents' lack of cooperation. "Then what are we going to name the baby?"

Instead of answering, Rafael just looked down at his wife, not sure how to answer his son's question. If they were both being perfectly honest, they really hadn't done much in the way of discussing names. It had come up a few times, but it was something that much to their dismay, had sort of slipped past the parents.

"I don't think we know yet, sweetie." Olivia explained.

"Except, I think mommy and daddy should decide soon before the baby gets here." Rafael told Noah, but was really hinting to Liv.

Liv scooted around on the couch, setting her feet on the coffee table and sitting up so that she could see her husband's face. "I was actually thinking that if it's a girl, we should use Rosa for her middle name."

"You want to name her after my mom?" Rafael asked her.

"Yeah… She's done a lot for us and this is the last grandchild she's going to get. I think it would be nice if we used her namesake."

"Thank you." Rafael put a tender hand on her knee. "I know how much that would mean to her. Did you have anything in mind for a boy, yet?"

Liv thought for a moment, but shook her head. "No, nothing. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could name him after my uncle, Luca?"

Olivia turned to look at Rafael, trying to read him. "How come you've never mentioned this uncle before?"

"I don't know… I guess it's never really come up before." Rafael looked to Liv, who urged him to continue. "He died right after I graduated law school and sometimes I just find that it's easier not to discuss it, than remind myself of how much I miss him."

"What made him so special?" Olivia felt the need to know about this man from her husband's past now.

Rafael sighed. "Everything. He was my mom's brother, but he was more like a father to me than my own dad was. Every time he would come over when I was little, he would make me sit on his lap and he would tell me all these made up stories that at the time I believed. I idolized him. But he also saw the worst of my father and what he was capable of doing to my mother when he was drunk. I can't even count the number of times he saved my mom and me from that man. Luca was the one other person, besides my mom, that I always knew actually cared and wouldn't just leave me. And then… there was a car accident the week after my graduation ceremony and my whole world changed…"

"If your uncle Luca meant that much to you, then I would love to have our son be named after him." Liv rarely saw Rafi open up about his childhood, or any time before he became an attorney. And as she too shared in his misfortune with fathers, she knew why he kept certain details to himself. But to hear him talk about someone with so much emotion, Olivia knew that this was something important to him.

Rafael cleared his throat, once again being in control of his emotions. "So we have middle names… That's a start."

"Yes it is. Now how about we talk more names later, because this mama is hungry and I think all of us would be happy to get some dinner."

"How about we order take out and watch a movie with the kids in bed?" Rafael stood up from the couch.

"I think that sounds like a perfect plan." Olivia smiled at him.

 _ *** All the nicest fluff for you all. I figured after the last few chapters, it was time for something a little less dramatic. I also wanted to give a little insight into names for Baby #3. I really haven't decided for sure yet on names, however, we're really, really close to meeting the newest family member, so stay tuned! Keep leaving all of your wonderful reviews. ***_


	17. Chapter 17

_*** An update in honor of premier day! Read and enjoy. ***_

"Liv are you sure that you're okay? I really think that this means something more than false labor…"

Rafael had watched for the last hour as his wife rolled around in bed, her hand on the underside of her stomach while her other hand gripped the pillow her head rested on. She had false contractions since she was placed on bed rest, but that morning when he had woken up to Liv's uncomfortable moans, he had a feeling that this time they maybe weren't at all false.

"I'm fine… They're just a little bit stronger than normal this morning. Dr. Russell said that it could happen as I got closer to my due date." Olivia let a deep breath, as the cramping pain she was having begun to ease.

"If you say so…" Rafael watched as Liv sat up. "Maybe I should stay home today. Lucy can still come in and be with the kids, but that way I'll be close in case anything happens."

Olivia put an assured hand on her husband's shoulder. "You have a trial for a double homicide starting in two days and you have been up until past midnight for the last week working on it. I know that you need to go into work. I will be fine; you're a call away if I need you to come home."

"Alright. But I am making sure that Lucy keeps an extra close eye on you today, too." Rafael got up from bed and headed towards the bathroom to shower.

Liv rolled her eyes. "You know that we pay Lucy to watch the kids not me right?"

"Well sometimes you need a little babysitting yourself since you're so damn stubborn." Rafael dashed into the bathroom before he could get a response to his remark from his wife, knowing she wouldn't be a fan of his joking.

"Noah." Rafael had finished getting ready and was now downstairs, suited up for the day, about to walk out of the house with his briefcase and a load of files. He had helped Olivia down the stairs so that she could lay on the couch for the day, so she would be able to spend a little more time with the kids. "I need you to take care of mommy for me today, okay? She isn't feeling so great and she might need a little extra help."

"I got it, daddy." Noah told him; sure that he would handle the responsibility. "I'll make sure mama is good."

"I knew you would buddy. Thank you." He kissed his son on the forehead, his daughter too, and made sure Liv was okay, before kissing her good bye as well, and walking out the front door, hoping that his wife was going to be all right.

The morning was uneventful to say the least. Olivia had, besides a couple more contractions, been able to enjoy sometime with the kids. Her back ached and her swollen feet throbbed, but she did her best to push it all aside, wanting to cherish the time she had with Raegan and Noah before the baby came. No matter how pregnant she was feeling, the time she had with her kids was more important than wallowing in her own self-pity, the pain and agony of waiting for her third child would have to be put aside for as long as she could possibly tolerate it.

"Mommy…" Noah suddenly looked up from the toy he was playing with. It was after lunch and Raegan was taking a nap, leaving Liv and Noah to themselves while Lucy cleaned up after the lunch mess.

"Yeah, buddy?" Olivia looked at her son, whose brown eyes showed his concern.

The little boy stood up and leaned against the couch where his mom laid. "Are you and daddy going to like the new baby more than me?"

"Oh my sweet boy…" Liv sighed; this is what she had been waiting for. Noah had been so excited about the baby, but she worried that it wouldn't last forever. "I could never love the baby more than you or Raegan. Daddy and I will love this baby just as much as you, but you're still going to be my boy and nothing can change that."

"How do you know? You haven't even mets the baby yet?" Noah still wasn't convinced.

Olivia felt like she could cry. Being nine and a half months pregnant had her emotions running awry as it was, but she was so upset by her son's worries. "Here's the thing Noah, mommies and daddies were made so that they have enough love for all of their babies. So daddy and I can love you and your sister and the new baby all the same because you're all so special to us."

"Are you sure?" Noah's big brown eyes stared up at her.

Liv cupped her son's head in her hands. "I am sure Noah. I love you so much, buddy."

"I love you too, mama!" Noah immediately returned to his toys, as of all of his concerns were gone.

As the day continued and Raegan was awake from her nap, playing with her older brother, Olivia watched her children intently. After her conversation with Noah, the mom couldn't help but feel like bringing her third child into the world would obstruct what she had with Noah and Raegan. They meant more than they would ever know to her, but it was so hard to explain to them that just because there was going to be a new baby and just because their sibling was biologically their mom and dad's, it didn't mean that the little boy and girl were anything less than what Liv and Rafi revolved around.

However, even with her head spinning with the thoughts and her heart aching for her kids to know they loved her, the false labor contractions Liv had been having earlier that morning were starting to return.

"Are you sure that you'll be okay? I can stay until Rafael gets back." Lucy had her purse in her hand, ready to leave for the night, but she too had noticed that Olivia seemed to be in the same pain she had been earlier, and the last thing she wanted to do was leave her with the kids, even if it was just for a short time.

Liv took a deep breath, trying to hide her discomfort. "We'll be fine, Lucy. Rafael should be home in fifteen minutes, twenty tops; I can survive with the kids for that long."

"All right, but if you need anything don't hesitate to call me." Liv nodded in response and Lucy headed out the door.

As soon as the sound of the front door clicking close was heard, Olivia was pushing herself up from the couch, sitting only making the pressure in her back worsen. Liv did her best to control her pain, pacing back and forth in the living room, trying to still keep an eye on the kids.

"Mama hurt?" Raegan looked up at her from where she was standing by her mom's feet.

"No, mama is okay, Rae." Liv tried her best to give her a reassuring smile, but what felt like a contraction started to rip through her before she could finish the gesture.

Olivia tried to move around and in the next half an hour she was standing in the kitchen, leaned over the counter island. She was giving it her best effort to stay calm and breathe, but Rafael still hadn't returned home from work and she was starting to worry about being with the kids all alone for much longer.

"Mommy where is daddy?" Noah had come into the kitchen, now.

"I wish I knew, Noah." Liv took a deep breath as the strongest pain yet went surging through her lower abdomen. She bit down hard on her lip, trying to suppress a moan, so she wouldn't scare Noah. However, just seconds later, the gasp that left her when she looked down to see a puddle of water at her feet and her pants wet, was enough to grab her son's attention.

"Mama, did you have an accident?" Noah asked, but was distracted by the sound of the front door opening. "Daddy!"

Rafael could hear the sound of his son's footsteps as soon as opened the door all the way and stepped inside. By the time he set his briefcase down on the floor by the entryway, Noah was running full speed into his arms. "Hi Noah." Rafael scooped him up. "Where are mama and Raegan?"

"Mama just had an accident!" Noah giggled at his own words.

Rafael gave him an inquisitive look. "What do you mean?" But before he could allow his son to give him an answer, he was already almost into the kitchen.

"See; look at the puddle on the floor." Noah pointed to the pool of liquid at his mom's feet.

The husband set his son down instantly, rushing to Liv's side. He leaned down, to make eye contact with her and he could see right away that something was wrong. "Liv did your…?"

She nodded at him. "Yeah… My water just broke."

Rafael was a mess. He immediately went to work; the dad called his mom and asked her to get over to the house right away to stay with the kids. Rosa Barba arrived, just as Olivia and Rafael returned down the stairs, after he had helped her change into dry clothes and to grab her packed hospital bag.

"Where are you going?" Noah came running up to his mom and dad as they were on their way out the door.

"We're going to the hospital so that mama can have the baby." Rafael explained quickly.

"It's okay, buddy. I'm fine and I will see you very soon when you come to see your new brother or sister." Liv leaned down the best she could and kissed her son goodbye. She did the same with Raegan, before Rafi guided her out the door.

Once they were in the car, Rafael finally stopped for a moment, looking over to Liv, who was sitting in the passenger seat, a look of shear panic on her face. He grabbed her hand and gripped it in his own. "Are you ready to do this?"

She looked back at him. "I don't think we have much of a choice." She gave him a sheepish grin, preparing herself for what was to come.

Rafael gave her hand one last squeeze before he put both hands on the wheel and pulled away from the curb. "I guess we're going to have a baby soon then."

 _ *** Yay! The Barson baby is coming, so you better get ready for it. You'll have to wait just a little while though, but in the meantime I'm sure we are all thrilled for the SVU season premier tonight (I cannot wait!). Review, review, review please! ***_


	18. Chapter 18

Less than an hour later, Rafael and Olivia found themselves in an all-white hospital room, a nurse prepping and turning on all the necessary monitors, and Dr. Russell, wearing scrubs rather than her usual business-casual wardrobe, rushing into the room.

"I'm sorry for the delay, it seems that you mom's planned this and decided to go into labor at the same time." Dr. Russell chuckled. "Now, let's get you all checked. About how far apart are the contractions?" The doctor's question was directed at the nurse.

The young woman, who had introduced herself as Sophia, glanced at one of the monitors. "Close to fifteen, sixteen minutes still."

"Olivia, how bad is the pain?" Dr. Russell turned back to her patient.

"Not too bad yet." Liv told her. In the time from leaving the house and getting to the hospital, Olivia had found her nerves and excitement growing; the thought of finally meeting the baby had her thrilled, but delivery worried her and after the previous complications she was keeping her fingers crossed that everything went just remotely smooth.

"Okay, that's good. Now this might be a little uncomfortable, but it will be over in just a few seconds." Dr. Russell carefully moved the blanket that was covering her patient's legs and took care of the task. "Alright, you're still only about two centimeters dilated, so you have a lot of time ahead of you."

"How much longer?" Rafael asked the doctor, hoping for his wife's sake the answer would be good.

Dr. Russell wasn't able to tell them that though. "It could be quite a while, another ten hours or more, but it could also turn quickly and be much shorter than that. It's really hard to predict; usually, though, a woman's first labor is the longest, so I would prepare yourselves."

"Great, that makes me so excited." Liv scoffed sarcastically.

"I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but I promise you it will be worth it. Now, since your contractions are still so far apart and your pain is tolerable, I think you should try and get some rest. You'll need all the energy you can get later." Dr. Russell left with a friendly smile, returning to one of her other moms.

"Is there anything I can do for either of you?" Sophia the nurse asked.

Rafael looked to Liv, who shook her head. "I think we're fine, thank you though."

"Okay. I'll be back soon." The nurse walked to the door. "But if you need anything at all, just hit the call button on the bed." She left the couple alone in the room.

Rafael grabbed the chair from the corner of the room and pulled it up next to the bedside. Just as he sat down, Liv began to grimace, gripping the bed railing, and trying her best to breathe through the contraction that had hit her. Another minute passed, before Liv let out a deep breath, relaxing back into the bed.

"Are you sure they're not too painful?" Rafael asked her.

She nodded. "Compared to what they were the last time we were in here, these are nothing."

"Well then maybe you should try and get some sleep." He agreed with what Dr. Russell had suggested. "I know you haven't slept much the last couple of days; it would be good for you to rest."

"I think I'll try." Olivia gave him a small smile.

Rafael stood up and kissed her forehead. "You sleep and I am going to call my mom and check on the kids."

Almost three hours had passed. Rafael had checked on Noah and Raegan; they both had been fed dinner and bathed by their grandma, who had informed her son that they were just about to read their bedtime stories and go to bed. Rafael knew that the kids were in good hands, but he just had to make sure. He had also been in and out of the room, talking to his colleagues, trying to prepare them for the murder case he would now have to postpone until after the baby was born. However, as soon as the nurse let him know that Olivia was awake from her nap, he rushed back into the room.

The moment he walked back in, he could see why Liv had woken up. Her eyes were shut tight and her teeth clenched, she was obviously in pain. "How far apart are her contractions now?"

"About six or seven minutes." Sophia answered.

Olivia took a few deep breaths, the intensity of her contraction easing. "Do I have to stay in this bed?"

"Just for a little while longer, Dr. Russell needs to come in and check you again." The nurse told her. "After that though, we can move you. Maybe we'll get you walking a little, that typically helps you progress faster."

As if she knew that her patient was waiting for her eagerly, Dr. Russell came into the room. "Alright, let's see how things are looking." Liv braced herself the uncomfortable examination, but it was over quickly enough. "So you're about four centimeters now."

"That's it?" Liv asked.

"I warned you that this could take some time. Just hang in there and if you decide you want some relief for the pain, the epidural is just a call away. As time passes you'll see what you need and you can ask for whatever you want." Dr. Russell checked with Sophia before she left again.

Suddenly, Rafael found Olivia reaching for his hand. She turned towards him, as he allowed her to grip it as she needed, the next contraction building. "I'm right here Liv. Just try and breathe."

"Rafi?" Liv looked up at him.

"Yeah, Liv?"

"When you've had a baby you can coach me through this, but for now just let me squeeze your hand and keep quiet, please?"

Rafael just nodded, going along with whatever his wife wanted. He was just trying to help, but he knew that he wasn't the one in pain or that was on the verge of delivering a child, so he would do what she needed and play the supportive husband role.

Sophia had come up next to the couple, waiting for Olivia's latest contraction to stop. "Would you like to go walk? I really think it will help you."

"If it means I can get the hell out of this bed, than gladly."

Rafael and Sophia helped Liv out of bed, leading her out of the room. As the time passed, Liv and Rafi paced the maternity floor. Over the course of the next hour and a half, Olivia did her best to work through her contractions as they became more intense; Rafael allowed Liv to bare her own weight against his, as he helped her to keep moving when the pain would increase. Though the intensity of the contractions started to become too much and Liv no longer felt like she could stay standing.

"Ahh… Rafi." Olivia reached for his hand, her contraction ripping through her like no other had yet. The pain became so bad that she felt like she was going to be sick.

Rafael leaned over the bed now that they had returned to Liv's room. He was doing his best to comfort her, but he felt helpless as he watched her writhe in pain. The next two hours passed slowly, much too slowly for both Olivia and Rafael.

"Please tell me we're getting closer." Liv begged her doctor as she examined her again.

"Six centimeters now." Dr. Russell announced as she removed her latex gloves. But the doctor seemed distracted, she wasn't looking at Liv anymore and her eyes were glued to the screen of one of the monitors. "Sophia."

The nurse and doctor walked out of the room, but they left an uneasy feeling behind them with the mom and dad. Neither one said anything, but they both knew that something was going on; it made them both nervous, but more so than anything it scared them both.

Sophia returned and she stayed for a much longer period of time than she had before. The parents watched her shuffle supplies, open and close Olivia's medical files, and the way her eyes always ended up on the monitor. Her fidgeting was annoying Olivia, but with her contractions coming four minutes apart, she was having a difficult time staying focused only on the strange behavior of her labor and delivery nurse.

Rafael, however, was not going to stand by. "Is something wrong?"

Sophia looked up. "We're just watching the baby's heart rate. It's a little lower than we would like it."

Liv took a deep breath trying to relax her body after yet another contraction. "What does that mean?"

"Dr. Russell thinks that they baby isn't reacting well to your contractions becoming stronger and closer together. We have to watch the heart rate because if it becomes too low, we may have to deliver."

But before either parent could ask more questions, the monitor tracking the baby's heart rate began to beep and the numbers on the screen began to drop.

"Mhhhmmm…" Liv held onto the bed railing as a contraction surged through her abdomen and lower back, the pain rising by the second and the beeping on the monitor increasing.

Sophia disappeared instantly, returning just a moment later with Dr. Russell in tow. Both women were rather frantic. Dr. Russell did a quick check of Olivia's cervix but didn't say anything. Sophia had, from somewhere, retrieved an oxygen mask and was placing it on Liv as requested by the doctor.

"What's happening?!" Rafael was panicked, holding onto Liv's hand as she gripped it back.

"The baby's heart rate is much, much lower than we would like it to be. And Olivia is still only dilated to barely eight centimeters, which means she isn't close enough to delivery to make me comfortable doing nothing. I'm going to give her a little more time, but I'm calling down to have an OR prepped for an emergency C-section." Dr. Russell explained.

Rafael looked to Liv and he could see immediately that her eyes were screaming with terror at what the doctor had just said. "Is that the only option? A C-section?"

Dr. Russell nodded. "It's looking like it if you want a healthy delivery. This has been a long labor and the baby can't handle much more. After what happened, I want to keep my promise in delivering a healthy baby."

And Dr. Russell was going to keep her promise, however she needed. When, after half an hour, the baby's heart rate wouldn't pick up, the doctor was moving fast. With the help of Sophia, Dr. Russell began to unhook monitors and add an IV to Liv's left hand.

"Can I… Does she have to go alone?" Rafael was still holding onto Liv's hand.

"No you'll be in there with her. But for now we're going to take her down to the OR and get her prepped for surgery. We'll have another nurse come and get you. You'll have to wash up and then scrub in before we bring into the operating room. So now we're going to get going."

"Hey Liv." Rafael pushed the sweaty hair out of her face. "I will be right there with you, okay? Everything will be okay and we're finally going to get to meet our baby." He placed a small kiss on her bare forehead and then allowed Dr. Russell and Sophia to roll her bed out of the room.

Liv watched the ceiling pass above her as the nurse and doctor rushed through the halls of the hospital. Her heart was racing, she felt sick to her stomach, she was aching for her husband's hand to hold, his words to reassure her, and all she could do was hope that her baby would be delivered safely.

 _ *** Leave me all of your great reviews, please! ***_


	19. Chapter 19

_*** Here we go! Barson baby time. ***_

The room was spinning with chaos. The voices of Dr. Russell, Sophia, and two more nurses filled the operating room, as metal tools clanked on their tray, rubber gloves were stretched over hands, and a curtain was placed in front of Olivia so that she could no longer see past her chest. Everything happened so quickly; the mom felt as if she had just arrived at the hospital, her water having broken and her contractions starting, and now she was lying on a slab, waiting to be cut open.

"Alright, Olivia, we're just about to start." Dr. Russell announced from the other side of the curtain. Liv could only take in the words, the oxygen mask still covering her mouth, stopping her from responding, although, the only question she would have asked is about the whereabouts of her husband.

Rafael followed the nurse down the hallway. It was eerily silent on the OR floor, so quiet he was sure that the sound of his rapid heartbeat could be heard. His nerves were growing and all he could imagine was Liv, all alone, waiting for him. With a borrowed pair of scrubs on, Rafael was ready to join his wife, not so ready to be in the room while she was being operated on, but he would do whatever it took to be by her side.

"Sir, you can go right through that door." The nurse, who had helped Rafael scrub in, pointed to a door just to his left that was labeled OR 2. He pushed the handle of the door, taking a deep breath, before he walked in.

Olivia's head snapped towards the door as soon as she heard it open. Rafael smiled at her and she felt herself calm knowing that he was going to be by her side.

"Rafael, you can sit on that stool." Sophia directed the dad to a black, stool that was placed next to Olivia.

"Thank you." Rafi took a seat and immediately reached for Liv's hand. "Everything's going to be okay, Liv."

She squeezed his hand once, almost as if to reassure herself that Rafael was right next to her and would continue to be right next to her. Without him, Liv wasn't sure that she would be able to handle it all.

"We're going to get started now." Dr. Russell looked around the curtain at Liv and Rafael. "I'll let you know what's happening as I go."

The first minutes were a blur for both of them. Olivia could feel small bits of pressure and the touch of the doctor and nurses, but she felt no pain. It was an odd sensation, to know that someone was inside of her, but to not feel it. Rafael could tell that Liv was focused on the curtain, almost as if she was trying to see through it, to watch what Dr. Russell was telling her she was doing. He, however, couldn't keep his eyes off of his wife, watching her closely, making sure that she was okay.

"So we're almost done. You're going to feel a lot of pressure Olivia, but then it will be all over."

Liv's grip on Rafael hand increased as she felt the pressure that Dr. Russell had just warned her about. It wasn't quite the same as a contraction but it still left her uncomfortable. But more than anything it made Olivia realize that's she was seconds away from becoming a mother of three. In less than a minute she would meet her newest child and the reality of it all was finally hitting her, overwhelming her more than she already was.

"There we go." Dr. Russell's voice sounded from the other side of the curtain, brining Liv back and making Rafael turn towards the sound. "Olivia, Rafael, you have yourselves a little boy."

Rafael looked down at Liv, who was looking up at him. They shared a long look, before Rafi leaned down and gave Liv a soft kiss on her forehead. In that moment, they both felt relief and so much love for their new son.

Then a small cry filled the room. It was quiet at first, before the baby boy tested it his lungs and let out a screaming cry. It was the most beautiful sound either parent had ever heard. Their little boy was finally there and healthy. It was all that they had asked for. For a few moments all they could hear was the soft cries and the mumbling of the nurses.

"Here you go, dad." Sophia appeared from the other side of the curtain, a small, wrapped bundle was in her arms, their son. She handed the baby to Rafael, who happily accepted the infant.

Rafi took in the newborn's features. The tears he had been holding back began to well up in his eyes. "He's so beautiful." He directed his words to his wife.

Liv watched from where she laid, taking in the first few moments between her husband and their baby boy. It was beyond profound to watch them meet for the first time. Then Rafi leaned down, holding the baby down so that he was level with his mom. The moment Liv's eyes met her son's, the happiest of tears began to roll down her face.

* * *

"You two have a very healthy baby boy. Eight pounds, six ounces, twenty inches long." Since Sophia's shift was now over, a new nurse was there to help Liv, who had returned to her original room after spending nearly an hour in recovery.

A smile played out on Olivia's face at just hearing the word healthy associated with her son. It was all she could have asked for. Rafael felt the same way, as they both watched the nurse pick up the infant and unwrap him from the swaddle blanket.

"Here you go, mommy." The nurse slid the newborn under Liv's hospital gown, laying him on her bare chest. "Skin-to-skin is the best for the baby."

Olivia had no complaints, the warmth of the baby's body against her felt completely natural. The nurse pulled the blankets from the bed up around Liv's chest, making sure the baby would stay warm enough.

"If you need anything else, I'm just a call away, okay? But for now I'll let you all get acquainted." The nurse walked out of the room.

"Can you believe that he's actually here?" Rafi leaned against the bed, so that he could see his son's face.

Liv rubbed the baby's back gently, taking in all of his tiny features. He cooed at just the touch of his mom; he had a full head of dark hair that peaked out from the blue hat on his head, a perfect button nose, and rose pink lips he kept pursed. "He's just so completely perfect."

"Noah is going to be so thrilled to have a little brother." Rafael placed his hand on top of Liv's.

She looked up at him, for the first time since the baby had been laid on her chest. "Did you call your mom?" It was now almost noon of the next day.

Rafael nodded. "I did, almost an hour ago. She was thrilled. She also said that she would bring the kids by tomorrow, so that we could spend the rest of the day alone with this little guy."

"He needs a name." Liv stared back down at her son, already over calling him the baby.

"That he does." Rafael sighed. "Do you have something in mind?"

Olivia did. It had only been in the last few days of her pregnancy that she had decided on her top choice. It was one that she had been toying with for a while, but when she kept coming back to it, she had a feeling. "What do you think about Henry? I know we never really talked first names and you don't have to like it, but…"

"I know how much you love the name Liv." Rafael stopped her from rambling.

"You do?" Liv questioned him.

Rafael pulled up the chair to Liv's bed, giving him a better view his son's face against his wife's chest. "It's the only name that you have sticky noted and circled and underlined in all of the baby name books that you have sitting on your bedside table. You couldn't have made it any more obvious."

"I didn't even realize I had done that… I guess I liked the name more than I thought." Liv chuckled.

"Well I really like it too." Rafael assured her. "And since you were willing to use my uncle's name for his middle name, I think you should get more say in his first name."

"But I want you to like his name; he's just as much your son."

"I do like it, a lot."

"I just don't want to push it on you. You don't have like it just for my sake. We can come up with something else." Olivia offered.

"Would you stop?" Rafael placed a gentle hand on her hand her shoulder. "I love the name and I like it even more because you like it so much."

Liv stroked the baby's cheek gently with her fingers. "So did we just name our son?"

Rafael nodded. "We did."

"Henry Luca… It's just as perfect as him."

Silence soon overcame the room and the parents just watched their little boy sleep. Olivia couldn't move her eyes from the newest member of their family. She loved Noah and Raegan more than she would ever be able to explain, but it was new experience with Henry, one she never thought she would have; she never thought that she would have the chance to be pregnant and have her own, biological child. But now that she had and she knew she had two children at home, she felt that her family was absolutely complete and more perfect than she could have ever hoped for.

"Liv, you should get some sleep." Rafael could see that his wife was on the verge of caving into her exhaustion; after over twelve hours of labor and major surgery, she deserved some rest.

"Do you want to take him?" Liv unwrapped her arms from the around the infant.

Rafael gently lifted the baby up and set him down on one of the blankets he had retrieved from Liv's hospital bag. He wrapped the baby back up and took him into his arms, staring down at his son as he held him. "There we go, Henry. Let's let mama sleep now."

Olivia smiled at her husband; she loved watching him with the kids and their new baby was no different. As time passed, Liv drifted off to sleep watching Rafi pace the room with their tiny boy in his arms.

 _ *** We have a baby! And a baby with a name, at that. I hope you all enjoyed it; please review and let me know what you thought! ***_


	20. Chapter 20

_*** Wow, I'm finally updating; writer's block hit hard with this one. First, thank you for all of your awesome reviews (keep it up, I love reading them!). Second, this is not the end of the story yet. I can't say for sure how many chapters are left, but I know there is still more to come and it will be much more obvious when we're getting to the end. For now, enjoy this new chapter! ***_

"Was that your mom?" Olivia looked from the baby in her arms. She had just finished feeding him and he had instantly decided it was time for a nap; the mom had no complaints against watching Henry sleep, though.

"Yes it was." Rafael put his phone back into his jeans pocket. "She said they just got in the car and that they would be here shortly."

Liv couldn't help but smile at the thought of finally seeing Noah and Raegan. "I can't wait to see them. I've missed them so much and it's only been two days."

"It's okay, I missed them a lot too. I just hope that they feel okay about their new brother." Rafael said.

Olivia just nodded. She didn't want to worry about the possibility of jealousy from them. It would be a big enough change to bring home another child, but if the kids also starting acting up because they didn't want to share anymore of their own time with their parents with another child, it would so much more difficult.

Half an hour later, the door to Olivia's room opened and the sound of scampering feet filled the room.

"Mommy!" Noah ran to the side of her bed. "Mommy!"

"Hi Noah." She smiled down at her little boy. "Have you been having fun with Abuela?"

"Yes! She let us go get ice cream yesterday and we got to go to the park and play until dinner time. It was so awesome!"

Liv chuckled at her son's enthusiasm. "Well it sounds like Abuela is letting you have a lot of fun."

"We certainly have been." Rosa Barba came up behind Noah with Raegan following closely. "These two have been having the time of their lives, but I think they've been missing mom and dad."

"Well we've missed them too." Rafael reached down and picked up Raegan, who clung to him like it had been years since she had seen him.

"Daddy!" Raegan loved her father. "Baby." The little girl pointed to the small bundle in her mom's arms.

Rafael walked up to the side of the bed next to Liv, so that Raegan could see the baby better. "That's your new baby brother Rae."

Liv adjusted the way that she was holding Henry so that Raegan could inspect him. Rafael leaned down just enough for Rae to be able to touch the baby, she was much gentler with him than either parent had expected.

"Sit with mama, daddy?" Raegan requested.

Rafael looked to Liv first and she nodded her approval. "Okay, Rae, but you have to sit still and be very careful."

"Can I get up too daddy?" Noah looked at Rafi hopefully.

"Of course." Rafael set Raegan down, who snuggled carefully in between the railing of the bed and her mama, while Rafael went around to the other side to help Noah up. "Just be careful, okay buddy?"

"Can I see the baby, mommy?" Noah crawled closer to his mom, trying to be careful like his father had told him, but also trying to get a good look at his new brother.

"Of course you can, baby." Liv moved her arms so that Henry lay out in front of her, allowing both kids to see him. "You can come closer, Noah."

The mom watched as both of her kids took in the new tiny being. Raegan reached out toward him again, her hands patting his tummy, and she giggled when the baby made cooing noises in response. Noah was more cautious. He took a single finger and touched the infant, drawing back when he started to wiggle under the blanket wrapped around him. Noah took a moment before he put his finger in Henry's hand and the baby gripped it. Noah's face lit up with excitement right away.

"Look he won't let go! He likes me mommy!"

Liv chuckled. "Of course he likes you buddy. You're his big brother."

"So do we get to take him home mommy?" Noah looked up from her little brother.

The mom laughed out loud at her son's question. "Yes we do. That's why mommy and daddy have that little bed in their room and why we put together the crib in the room next to you so that the baby has places to sleep when we bring him home."

"Abuela have you seen my new brother?" Noah, sufficed with the answer about taking Henry home, turned to his grandmother.

"I have Noah." The older woman smiled.

Olivia shifted the baby's weight in her arms. "Rosa, would you like to hold him?"

The grandma was more than anxious to get to see and hold her newest grandchild. It was the greatest gift she had been given; a daughter-in-law who loved her son and who had given her three beautiful grandchildren, something she didn't think she would ever had.

Rosa took the baby into her arms carefully. "He's absolutely beautiful."

"We're happy with him." Liv told her.

Rosa thought for a moment, still staring at the baby. "Have you named him yet?"

Liv and Rafael made eye contact. They had not mentioned the baby's name to Rosa yet. Rafael had decided that it was something he wanted to be able to tell her in person because he knew how much it would mean to her that they had chosen her brother's name as a part of their son's name.

"We have named him…" Olivia said.

Rafael stepped up closer to his mom. "It's Henry Luca."

Rosa finally pulled her eyes away from the baby and looked up at her son. "You named him after Luca… You didn't have to do that."

"We wanted to Rosa." Liv assured her.

"Mami, he would have loved all the kids so much and he deserves to be remembered." Rafi knew how important their decision with Henry's name had been.

"He would have been so happy for you. I just wish that he could have seen you now, meet Liv and the kids. He would have been so proud of you Rafael." She looked at Noah and Raegan and back down at Henry in her arms. "I'm so proud of you."

There was silence for a moment, before Liv broke it. "Noah, maybe daddy will take you and Raegan to go get a treat so that mommy can talk to Abuela for a little while?"

"Can we Daddy?" Noah turned to Rafi excitedly.

Rafael looked at Liv, who just gave him an assured nod. "Sure we can buddy. Let's go."

Noah got off the bed himself and Rafael scooped Raegan up from her spot next to her mama. They all walked out of the room, Rafael giving his wife and mom one more glance before he let the door shut behind him.

"I just have to thank you for everything, Rosa. You have done so much for us and I really appreciate it." Liv started.

The woman sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, still holding her newest grandchild. "You don't have to thank me for that Olivia. That's what grandmas are supposed to do and I love nothing more than spending time with the kids."

"I just know that this was a lot for you. To have Rafael marry someone and then all of a sudden have two children." Liv knew it was an adjustment for her mother-in-law.

"If I'm being perfectly honest with you, I wasn't so sure about this whole relationship at first." Rosa told Liv. "But now that I see you with Rafael and Rafael with Noah and Raegan, I can't imagine what life would have been like for Rafi if you two weren't together. You're good for each other and now Rafael has something besides his job to live for."

"I'm just so grateful for him. And to have him be a father to the kids; he is such a great dad. And I'm also happy that they have you. I never grew up with much family and I have nobody now, so I'm happy the kids won't have to know what that's like."

"They'll always have this family, Olivia." Rosa told her certainly. "And I have to thank you for being willing to name him after my brother. It means a lot to me and I know to Rafi, as well."

Liv gave her a soft smile. "Of course. As soon as Rafael asked me about it  
I knew what it meant to him."

For a while afterwards, the women just talked, about things from the kids to Henry and about Rafael's relationship with his Uncle Luca. And although she was engaged in conversation, Olivia couldn't help but watch her mother-in-law cradle Henry, looking down to him every so often to make sure he was still content. For a while in her life, Liv had pictured herself as a mom and her own mother being a grandmother, maybe finally cleaning her act up for her grandchild, but that had been a crushed hope the moment Serena Benson took her final drink. And the moment Liv brought home Noah, she had really realized that she was alone in raising her son. But then she found Rafael and Raegan and there had been a wedding and now there was Henry, and along with all of that she was not alone anymore. For the kids to have such a great father and their wonderful Abuela, not to mention their detective aunt and uncles, was something she was beyond grateful for. Olivia would never have to worry about being alone again.

"Thanks again for bringing Noah and Rae today." Rafael had Raegan in his arms and Noah at his feet, as he and Liv said their goodbyes to the kids.

Rosa reached for Raegan and took the almost asleep little girl into her own arms. "I'm happy to. Now we need to get home and have some dinner and then it is off to bedtime for these two."

"Daddy, when are you and mommy coming home?" Noah looked up to his dad.

"We'll be home in a couple of days." Rafi leaned down to his level. "Mommy has to heal some more and then we'll get to go home with Henry."

"Oh okay." Noah turned back towards the hospital bed where Liv was laying. "Mommy can you get better fast so you can come home sooner?"

Olivia smiled, wishing it was just that easy. "I will try my best buddy. Now go with Abuela and be a good boy until daddy and I come home, okay?"

"Okay mommy." Noah grabbed Rosa's outstretched hand and the grandmother guided him out with Raegan already asleep on her shoulder, the sugar crash from her treat with daddy hitting hard.

When the room was clear, Rafael took a seat on the edge of the bed, stealing Henry from his wife's arms and cuddling the newborn close to him. "Did you have a nice talk with my mother?"

"Yes I did." Liv said to him.

"Well I want you to know how much she likes you and how happy she is to have you as her daughter-in-law." Rafi explained.

"Well, I feel the same about her." And Liv most certainly did.

 _ *** Before anyone tells me that Rafael's mom's name is Lucia: I am well aware of that, now. But once I had discovered that (paid close enough attention to the episode she was in), I had already named her in my story. So for this series her name is Rosa. Now, I hope you enjoyed the fluff and the family. I wanted to look at Olivia's relationship with her mother-in-law for something different. Leave me more great reviews, please and thank you! ***_


	21. Chapter 21

_*** I have to apologize for**_ _**how long it has taken me to update this story. Life gets in the way sometimes and I honestly had serious writer's block with this chapter, as well as for what was to come in the rest of this story. I'm slowly starting to put it together and hopefully the updates will begin to come at a better pace (fingers crossed). So here is this new chapter finally, thanks for sticking it out with me. Enjoy! ***_

The small whines, quickly turned into loud cries, and began to fill the bedroom as the infant made his needs known from his bassinet at the end of his parents' bed. Henry's cries soon turned into screams and Rafael took that as his cue to get up and retrieve his son, as he had done multiple times already since the night before had turned into the early morning. He was beginning to see what life with a newborn was going to be like for the time being.

"What's the matter, Henry?" Rafi spoke gently as he lifted his son into his arms.

"I'm sure that he just needs to be fed." Liv spoke up. She had woken up as soon as she had heard even the smallest sound from Henry, but she was exhausted and sore and had waited for Rafael to be able to bring the baby to her, so that she would not have to move from her comfortable spot in the bed.

Rafael came back to the bed and traded the baby with Olivia. "Well then I am no help to him."

"No I'm sorry to tell you you're not." Liv situated the baby. "Although, it would be great if we could share this duty."

"If I could I would." Rafael told her as he was interrupted by the sound of his daughter screaming from her bedroom, announcing that she was up and ready to play. "I can, however, take care of wild child and her brother, who I'm sure, has to be awake after hearing that screech."

Since Liv and Rafael had returned home with Henry, it had been somewhat organized chaos, most of the time not very organized. Noah and Raegan were behaving and so far not showing any sign of being too jealous of their new little brother, but the parents were realizing just how difficult it was to tend to their needs while having a newborn in the house. And when, only a week after surgery, Liv was still almost completely restricted with what she was allowed to do, Rafael was finding it hard to balance taking care of Raegan and Noah while helping Liv handle Henry.

But before the father could even step out of the bedroom, Raegan zoomed past him and was up on the bed in no time at all. She quickly crawled up to the top of the bed, sitting herself down next to her mama. Although she didn't seem jealous of Henry, Raegan had become very attached to her mother since the baby had been brought home, finding any excuse to be near her or to call for her when she needed to instead of Rafael, like she usually did.

As the baby finished feeding, Olivia situated him against her shoulder to burp him. "Good morning, missy."

"Mornin' Heny." Raegan ignored her mom and greeted her little brother by the name she was using for him, even if it wasn't quite correct. The little girl was much more infatuated with the baby than either parent had expected her to be, she was also incredibly gentle and caring towards him, a shock to Liv and Rafi. And she showed her care towards him, as she stroked his check softly while he was being burped, an action she was copying from seeing her parents do it.

"Did you come in just to see your brother? You think you can come in here and not say good morning to daddy?" Rafael reached for his daughter, rolling her over on the bed, and tickling her until he was sure the sound of her laughter could be heard by their next door neighbors.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Raegan screamed through her giggles.

Rafael stopped. "So where's my good morning hug then?"

Raegan stood up on the bed and practically jumped into her father's arms, hugging him tightly around his neck. "Mornin' daddy."

"That's much better." Rafael hugged her back, moving Raegan so that she was securely in his arms.

"I want cakes, daddy." Rae looked up at her dad after he had set her back down on the bed.

"Yeah! Pancakes, daddy." Noah had entered the room seemingly unnoticed until he added his input on what should be eaten for that morning's meal, knowing exactly what his little sister meant by her request. "I want them for breakfast, please."

Rafael chuckled at the enthusiasm of both of his kids. "Well I guess it's been decided then: Pancakes for breakfast this morning."

Noah took off from the bedroom, running down the stairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast. Rafael pulled Raegan from where she sat on the bed and set her down on the floor, the little girl taking off after her older brother.

"Hey, Rafi." Liv grabbed her husband's arm as he walked to the door. "Why don't you take them out today? Go to the park or the children's museum; they need to get out of this house."

"You sure you'll be okay?" Rafael reached for Henry and took the infant, who was once again sleeping soundly, back to his bassinet.

Liv nodded. "Your mom asked if we could use anything and wanted to come see Henry, so she can come over and stay with us, while you go out with the kids. They need some time alone with at least one of their parents."

"Alright, I'll get them ready after breakfast then and we'll go." Rafael kissed Liv on his way out to go meet the kids in the kitchen for breakfast.

A few hours later, Olivia found herself sitting in the kitchen, watching as Rosa filled two mugs with fresh, steaming hot coffee; Rafael had left with the kids for a day in the park and a visit to their favorite ice cream shop. The aroma of the dark liquid filled the house and it made the mom realize just how in need of caffeine she was. The nights with Henry had been long with him getting up every couple of hours to eat and be changed; Liv and Rafael were still adjusting to having the newborn at home with them, so hours of sleep had been far and few in between.

"I'll trade you the cup of coffee for my grandson please." Rosa set a cup down in front of Olivia and reached for the baby in her arms, who woke up as he was shifted between people. "Good afternoon, Henry. Was that a nice nap?" The grandma continued to coo at her grandson as she took a seat next to Olivia at the kitchen table.

"Now if only he would sleep during the night like that." Liv quipped.

Rosa chuckled. "I'm afraid to tell you that you've got quite a while before you'll be getting a full night of sleep again, but this little guy is all worth it."

As the afternoon passed, Henry became increasingly fussy. Liv had noticed it the night before and a little in the morning, but it had only become worse as time passed. Rosa had offered to sit with him while Olivia tried to take a nap, only the grandma found herself unable to calm the infant, a task she thought she had mastered. It was rather unsettling, as up to that point the baby boy had been as content as any baby she had ever seen.

When the mom could no longer sleep over the screaming cries of her son, Liv got out of bed and made her way into the living room to check on Rosa and Henry, worried that he had yet to stop fussing. "Is everything okay?"

"I just can't seem to get him to calm down." Rosa studied the baby in her arms. "Olivia, does he look a little flushed to you?"

The mom took her son into her arms; he was still screaming and his small body was unusually warm against hers. "He's really warm too…"

The panic in the mom's voice was obvious to Rosa, so she tried her best to keep calm. "Where's your thermometer?"

"Uhh… It should be in the kids' bathroom upstairs." Liv rocked back forth trying both to settle Henry and herself.

Rosa returned having found what she needed and helped Liv to take Henry's temperature, the baby fighting against the unfamiliar object and both of the women hoping that it would be normal. Olivia remembered the warning from her doctor about babies developing a fever when they were under a month old and she wasn't wanting to find out what was behind that warning.

"Olivia did your pediatrician tell you what to do if he had a fever?" Rosa held the used thermometer in her hand, facing the numbers towards her as to not alarm the mother standing next to her.

That question wasn't what Olivia had hoped to hear. "I don't… I don't know…"

"Okay, I'm going to call the hospital and see if they can tell us what to do." Rosa left the room with her cell phone.

Liv stared down at the fussing baby. His hot body lay against hers, as she held him closer, trying to protect him even though her efforts were pointless. Henry squirmed and screamed in protest, but there was nothing she could do for him, she didn't know how to help her poor baby boy.

When Rosa returned she looked as defeated as Liv felt. "We've got to take him in, sweetie."

"Take him in where?" Liv asked.

"To the hospital. The nurse I spoke to said because he's so little we needed to bring him in right away."

Olivia let out a deep sigh, she felt her hands shaking as she held her ailing baby. "I need to call Rafi. He needs… he has to be there."

"I know he does, but let's go and call him when we get there, alright? They need to get Henry in as soon as possible, Olivia." Rosa put an arm around the scared mom and directed her towards the entryway.

Rosa took the baby from Liv. She put him in his car seat by the door, while Olivia threw on a coat, listening to her sons escalating screams and cries as he was strapped in. They walked out the front door, buckling Henry into the car and then Rosa helped Liv into the passenger seat. They drove in silence to the hospital, Rosa never letting go of her daughter-in-law's shaking hand.

 _ *** I mean nothing can be all fluff, all the time, right? Up next: What's wrong with poor little Henry? (And hopefully this update doesn't take near as long.) Leave me your reviews and let me know what you think; they are always appreciated! ***_


	22. Chapter 22

_*** Alright, so this chapter only took me a million times longer than I had hoped to get up. I just had a serious case of writer's block and we all know what happens to life when the holidays hit, but now it's here and I'm really hoping that I can get the few chapters left of this story up and running in a timely manner. Thanks for your patience; I hope you enjoy it! ***_

"Daddy, daddy! Watch how high I can swing." Noah pumped his legs hard back and forth as he sat on the swing in the park; however his efforts didn't seem to get him as far as he was hoping as his feet still skimmed the ground.

"How about I give you a little push to help you start?" Rafael moved away from the swing Raegan was sitting in to help his son, but was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing from his pants pocket. He grabbed his phone. "One second, Noah." He answered it. "Hello?"

 _"Rafi…"_ Rosa said from the other line.

Rafael hadn't even paid attention to the caller ID when he answered the phone and he hadn't expected it to be his mother. "Mom, what's up?"

 _"Rafi… how fast can you get to the hospital?"_ Rosa asked. Her voice sounded quiet compared to the cries that were in the background of where his mother stood in the hospital room of her newest grandson.

"Mom… Why are you asking me that? What happened?" Rafael could hear the own panic in his voice as he reached for his daughter in the swing, pulling her up into his arms, motioning for Noah to follow his father and sister.

 _"It's Henry…"_ Rosa told him.

"I'm coming right now." Rafael was almost running to his car at this point, Noah using all the speed he had to keep up with his father too scared to lose him as he had never seen him act in such a manner and even at four years old, he knew something was wrong.

The panicked feeling that had begun to show its self the moment he answered his mother's call, only worsened with every step he took into the hospital. The elevator ride to the third floor could not have been any slower. Raegan was on his hip, her small hands grasping to his shirt, the two year old sensing the tension of her dad. Noah gripped Rafael's hand not wanting to let it go for fear he might lose his father in his panicked state.

"Rafi!" Rosa was waving her hand above her head, trying to get the attention of her son, who seemed to be in a daze of worry and fear as he exited the elevator.

"Where's Liv?" Rafael handed his daughter to his mother, hoping to go in search of his wife without the kids as they didn't need to see either of the parents in such a way or their poor little brother.

Rosa reached for Noah's hand. "She's down the hall, room 315. She really needs you Rafi."

Rafael didn't respond to his mother's comment, knowing that he needed to be there for his son and wife without her telling him. However, when he entered the pediatric room, he knew immediately that there wouldn't be much he could to for his infant son. The baby lay in an incubator, a plastic cube around his tiny body with only two small holes to allow for contact with the outside world.

"He has a fever and he can't maintain his body temperature that's why he's in there." Liv spoke softly from where she stood standing over the incubator.

Rafael stepped closer, standing across from his wife, over his son. "Did they tell you what's causing it?"

"Some kind of virus." Olivia sighed, reaching her finger into one of the small holes, stroking her baby boy's tummy. "I should have noticed it… He was so fussy and I didn't even think about it…"

"Liv, this isn't your fault. How were you supposed to know?" Rafael scooted around the end of the incubator standing next to his wife.

She stepped away from him. "I'm his mother. I should have noticed that something was wrong and that he wasn't acting normal or that he felt warm, maybe his fever wouldn't be so high, maybe we wouldn't be here if I had caught this sooner…"

"Hey…" Rafael stepped closer to her yet again. "You can't do everything all the time."

"Will we ever even be able to do enough, though?" Olivia asked him, the change in her tone voice worrying her husband.

Rafi took a moment to think about what he had been asked. "What does that mean Liv?"

"It means I don't know how we're ever going to get through everything with each child. How are we supposed to do all of this when both of us have demanding careers and three kids who need us more than we can be there for? It's all so much all the time."

"Why are you even asking that? Liv, we love our children, we're good parents." Rafael told her; sure what he was saying was the truth.

Olivia shook her head in response. "I know we love our kids, Rafael. But is that enough? All I can do is look at him in this box and wonder what are we going to do now? We have two other kids who need their parents too and we can't ask your mom to play parent all the time because we're too busy to be at home with our children."

"You do know you don't have to be the perfect parent right?" Rafael questioned her.

Olivia scoffed at him. "Now's not the time for your smart ass remarks, Rafael."

"It wasn't supposed to be one." He said. "I'm being completely serious. You ask too much of yourself. You have done so much for our family and our kids are beyond lucky to have you as their mom. But no one can do everything all the time, even though you think you can, and you need to give yourself a break, let yourself relax a little right now. We are going to have times like this more often than we will want with three kids, but we can handle it and we will."

There was silence between them, before Liv moved her eyes away from her son for the first time during their conversation and looked at her husband standing next to her. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" He asked back, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Keep your cool like that. I don't know how many times I've seen you lose your patience in the courtroom, in my squad room, but when we're at home and you're with me and the kids you almost never get mad and you always seem to know that things will be okay."

"Because our family has been through too much for it to crumble now. At work I don't know what I'm going to get from the strangers I encounter every day, but when it comes to you and the kids, I know that there is too much behind us for anything to break us now."

Liv looked back down at her son, letting what Rafael had just told her roll around in her head for a few moments. Maybe he was right, nothing had taken them down yet and they had more stories behind them in the last few years than most families had in a lifetime together.

"I just feel so clueless when it comes to this whole family thing sometimes." Liv explained.

"That makes two of us." Rafael admitted. "But that doesn't mean you're not doing a good job. No one knows what they're doing when they become a parent."

A knock on the door stopped them from furthering their conversation as Rosa opened the door just enough to peak her head around to make sure that it was a good time to come in. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to take the kids home."

"You can let them in." Olivia gave her permission. "I want to say goodbye."

Rosa opened the door the rest of the way and both kids came barging in, wanting to see their parents before they were banished to their bed time routine with their grandma. And while Raegan made her way across the room to where her dad stood, Noah stopped in his tracks just as he made it through the door, a look of worry showing in his big brown eyes.

Olivia came around to kneel down next to him. "It's alright, Noah."

"Is Henry okay?" Noah asked in a small voice.

Liv let out a deep breath. "He will be. He's just a little sick right now and they have to keep him here so that he can get better before he comes back home."

"Can we come see him again tomorrow?" Noah asked his mom.

"Of course you can, baby." Liv ruffled his hair, something she found comforting to herself. "Grandma will bring you and Raegan back tomorrow morning, okay?"

Noah moved around his mom and walked up to the incubator. He stood on his tip toes, doing his best to look at his little brother. "Love you, Henry."

"He loves you, too, buddy." Rafael assured him.

"Lub you Heny!" Ragaen made her presence known from her daddy's arms, having to be a part of the conversation.

"Henry loves you, too, crazy girl." Rafael said as he walked over to his mom to transfer his daughter back into her arms.

"I'll see you both in the morning. Try and get some rest if you can, you both need it." Rosa took Noah's hand and walked out of the hospital room leaving the parents alone once more.

"And you're worried about you're parenting skills with a son who cares that much and a little girl who's that happy all the time?" Rafael questioned his wife.

Olivia sighed. "Why do you always have to be right?"

 _ *** So Henry will be okay; I couldn't have anything to bad happen to the newest member of the Barson family. Thanks again for keeping up with this story and let me know what you thought of this chapter. ***_

 _ *** P.S.: If you haven't already read it, I wrote a one-shot ('The Best Way') and I would really appreciate it if you would check it out and let me know what you think! Thanks! ***_


	23. Chapter 23

_*** Okay, so obviously it has been a really long time since I updated this story. Quite honestly I lost some interest in it and didn't know exactly where I wanted to take it. But then I had a few people recently review it and that made me come back. And in doing so, I realized that I couldn't leave this story unfinished; I had invested too much time in it and so had all of you that read it. Now, while I have a few other stories going as well, I will do my best to keep on top of updating this story until the end, but just bear with me. Now, with that all being said, here is a new chapter. Read it and hopefully enjoy it! ***_

"Liv you really should go home. I'll stay here with Henry. We'll be fine for a few hours." Barba worriedly watched his wife. She was still less than two weeks out from her c-section and even though she was scared to leave her youngest child, she had to remember to take care of herself too.

"I don't know Rafi." Liv stared at her son. "I really am fine."

"Olivia. I know you think that, but you deserve a break. You gave birth only a little over a week ago. You can't forget about yourself in all of this. I'm his father, I am perfectly capable of staying with him."

As hard as it was to leave her baby, Liv knew that her husband was right. She was starting to feel the effects of two nights spent in the small hospital room. "Okay, but I'll just be gone a couple of hours. And you can call me if you need me. I'll make sure to have my phone on me."

"Take your time. You deserve a nice hot shower and an actual meal. I'm sure there is more food in that house than we will ever need with my mom there. Don't worry about us, we aren't going anywhere." Rafael handed her his car keys.

Olivia slowly walked to the parking garage where their family car was. She was fighting the feeling she had to turn back around and go back to her son. She'd done this with Noah and Raegan and it never seemed to get any easier to leave your child in the hospital. When she reached the car, she simply sat in the driver's seat for a while, collecting herself. Other than on FaceTime, Liv hadn't see the other kids since the night they left the hospital with Rosa Barba. The thought of their faces when she walked through the door of the house was the only thing that eased the pain of leave little Henry.

"Mama!" Raegan face planted into her mom's legs before she could even get all the way through the front door.

"Oh sweet girl. I missed you." The guilty feeling that Liv had from leaving Henry, had changed to the guilt she felt for being away from her daughter and son.

"Mama! You're home!" Noah joined Raegan and the two wrapped their arms around her.

"Okay, guys let your mom get in the door and then you can give her all the hugs you want." Rosa had come from the living room now too to see her daughter-in-law.

Liv got all the way into the house and leaned down to return the hugs that she had received, both kids holding on tight to her. She stood back up when they finally loosened their grips and looked to Rosa.

"Thank you for staying here with them. I know they can be a handful." Olivia was truly grateful for the grandmother.

"I'm not a handful!" Noah disagreed with the remark his mom made.

Rosa laughed at her grandson. "No you aren't, Noah. Really, Liv, they have been so good."

"I'm happy to hear that." She told her. "I was worried that they would be acting out since we haven't been here with them." She was referring to herself and Rafael.

"Not at all. They've been on their best behavior, nothing to worry about. Now why don't you go take a nice hot bath or something and I'm going to start cooking us lunch." It was obvious that Rafael had informed his mom that Olivia was coming home, because she was telling her the exact things that he had.

Liv listened to Rosa and ran herself a hot bath. Her body was aching from sleeping in a chair for the past two nights, not to mention that she was still recovering from major surgery. The water encased her body as she slowly lowered herself into the tub. As hard as it had been to leave, in that moment she knew Rafael had been right; she needed to take a break and take care of herself. She hadn't realized what a toll all of this had on her.

"Rosa it smells delicious. What did you make?" Olivia had come back down to the kitchen where her mother-in-law was busy with lunch. Her hair was washed and dried, she had applied a new layer of makeup, and changed into clean clothes. She was feeling a little more like herself now.

"Ropa Vieja. It's a Cuban dish that Rafael loves and so does his children. I made it for them earlier and they couldn't get enough." Rosa was plating the food as she explained to Liv what it was.

They all sat at the table, eating their lunch. The kids couldn't get enough of their grandmother's cooking and Liv felt the same seeing as this was her first proper meal since Henry had been admitted to the hospital.

When they were finished, Liv started to help Rosa clean the kitchen. "Stop. You go back to Henry and I will finish this. He certainly need you more than I do."

"I'm not going to leave all of this for you." Olivia continued to clear plates.

"I told you to stop. Really Liv. I'm fine. Go be with your son and my son because I'm sure he's ready to have you back." Rosa grabbed the plates she was holding and shooed her out of the kitchen.

Liv left the kitchen and went into the living room where the kids where playing. "Alright, my loves. Mama has to go back to the hospital to be with Henry and Daddy."

"I don't want you to go." Noah cried.

And the way that Raegan immediately clutched to her mom showed that she agreed with what her brother had said.

"I know babies. But right now Henry really needs me. But I promise that I will come back tomorrow morning and spend some more time with you guys, okay?" Olivia was heartbroken that the kids were so upset by her leaving again.

"Okay." Noah slumped.

"I lub you mama." Raegan was still holding onto her.

"I love both of you so much." Olivia hugged them both before she stood up and left again.

As she walked back to the car, she was trying her best to hold back the tears that she felt forming. She was beyond torn. This is what it was like to be a mom to three kids and she hadn't been as prepared for it as she would have liked.

And she was even less prepared for what she was walking into when she returned to the hospital.

Rafael sat outside of the hospital room that was occupied by their son. From a distance he seemed destressed, but as she got closer she could see that old tears stained his face and the tears she had herself been trying to fight back the whole car ride reappeared with a vengeance.

"Liv…" Rafael stood up when she came closer.

"What… what happened?" Her voice shook.

"It just… it got worse… and then… then…" Rafael couldn't even finish his sentence. And it didn't matter anyway, because Olivia's face was buried in his shirt, her tears soaking into the material.

"Rafael, Olivia?" Henry's doctor was careful not to interrupt what was happening. She knew how hard it was for parents to watch their children suffer.

Rafael looked up first, Olivia wiping her eyes before she turned to look at the woman in the white coat. "What happened?"

"We are almost positive that Henry's initial virus has turned into pneumonia."

"Almost?" Liv questioned her.

"We are waiting for the tests results back right now. But from his chest x-rays, it seems like the only plausible answer." The doctor explained.

"But what about early? He wasn't even breathing." Olivia's eyes widened in horror as she heard Rafael talk about what her baby had been through.

"No, he wasn't breathing. The pneumonia had compromised his lung capacity so he wasn't able to breath. Which is why we had to intubate him. Since he is only a week old this infection would make it hard for his body to fight it and keep him breathing and keep his body temperature up too. So we will keep him intubated for a few days to allow the antibiotics to work, so that his little body doesn't get overworked."

"How long will he have to stay like that?" Liv asked, even though she wasn't sure that she wanted to know.

The doctor sighed. "It's hard to say. I am hoping only for two days, maybe three. But we have to watch him and see how he reacts to the antibiotics first. We'll go from there and hopefully clear his infection almost completely before we send him home."

"So he's going to be here for a while?" Rafael was picking up on what the doctor was hinting at.

"It will be a while." She admitted to the parents. "But once the medication starts to work and he is breathing on his own again, he'll feel much better and hopefully start to get back to himself. It will just take some time."

"When will we get to see Henry?" Olivia could only take so much bad news. She just needed to see her baby boy.

"I will let the nurse know you're waiting and she will bring him back down from x-ray. We were waiting until I talked to you so you both knew what to expect when you saw him."

The parents waited for another half an hour before the nurse returned with Henry. And just the sight of him made Olivia cry with sadness at the state of her son. No one week old should have to go through what he was going through. It wasn't fair.

For a while the parents just stood around the incubator that held their son. The tube was sticking out of his little mouth, the machine that was helping him to breath made a constant beeping noise. At first it was annoying, but it slowly become almost rhythmic as they stood in silence long enough. Liv could not take her eyes off of Henry, but Rafael's gaze was going between his son and wife. Worried didn't even begin to explain how Rafael felt about Henry, but he couldn't say that he wasn't also concerned with how hard Olivia was taking everything.

"He doesn't deserve this." Olivia huffed.

"No he doesn't. But he's a little fighter, just like his mama." Rafael wanted to do his best to comfort Liv.

"That shouldn't matter." She looked into her husband's eyes. "He shouldn't have to fight. God, he's a week old Rafi. He's been in this world for days and he already has to find out how shitty it can be? Why?"

He shook his head, not sure how to answer. "I wish I knew. I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"What if something happens? What if he doesn't get better?" The mom was starting to reveal her biggest fears for her youngest son.

"Do not do that to yourself, Liv." Rafael warned her, knowing what she was thinking. "Do not convince yourself that something bad is going to happen. You will drive yourself crazy. He is strong, even if he shouldn't have to be and he will get through this. He will."

"And what about Noah and Raegan. We can't ask your mom to stay with them all this time. They need us, both of us, and so does Henry. How are we going to be there for all of them?"

"We will figure it out, okay? I know that it's killing you to be away from Noah and Raegan. It's killing me too. But Henry has to be a priority. Someday they will understand why we had to be here with their little brother and not at home with them. They aren't going to hate us because we took care of Henry when we needed to most." Rafael came around to the side that Olivia was standing on.

"I just feel so guilty leaving them."

Rafael reached for her hands and took them in his own. "You have to be easier on yourself. You doing what is best for them is all that the kids can ask from you. You are doing that and more Liv."

She felt the tears start to fall down her face and this time she didn't even try to stop them as she looked up at Rafael. "I hope you're right."

 _ *** Of course I had to come back with some more drama, but that's what makes a story good I suppose. I appreciate any and all reviews! And I do promise to try and continue with updates in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. ***_


	24. Chapter 24

_*** Finally, the last chapter of this story! Read and enjoy! ***_

"Mama, mama."

Liv just barely opened her eyes, still half asleep as she heard the happy screams of her daughter coming down the hallway. She sighed, rolling over to see that it was already eight o'clock in the morning and the mom was surprised her early-rising daughter had held off this long before waking her up.

"Mama." Now the voice was in the room and sure enough within seconds Liv could feel the weight of Raegan's little body hopping up on the bed.

Olivia rolled onto her back, only to be greeted by her daughter's face just inches away from hers. "Well, hello there."

"You're wake!" Raegan announced it as if it was the most exciting thing she had ever seen.

"With you screaming, how could I ever be asleep?" She mumbled the question, knowing that her daughter wouldn't understand it to give her an answer anyway.

"Daddy's makin' waffles." Raegan announced, backing up so that she wasn't quite so close to her mom.

Liv yawned as she pushed herself a little more upright in bed. "And did he send you to come get me so that I could have some?"

"He said no wake you up." She smiled mischievously.

"So then why did you come wake me up?"

"Cause there's waffles." Raegan was two and a half going on twenty-two Rafael would always say. "And I missed you."

And somehow the always wild and sassy child could find a way to show how sweet she really was and melted her parents' hearts. "I missed you too, lovey. But next time you miss me, why don't you ask daddy to show you a picture of me and then I can stay sleeping."

"You silly mama." Raegan told her before she bounced off the bed and disappeared downstairs, Liv hearing the pitter patter of her feet.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her daughter as she rolled out of bed and padded into the bathroom, before she grabbed her robe from the back of the door, wrapping it around herself and joining the rest of the family downstairs. Rafael looked up and smiled as she came into the kitchen. She kissed him and sat down between Noah and Raegan at the table.

"I see that Raegan listened to me." Rafael joked, knowing that the little girl had gone up and woken up her mother.

Liv looked at him and simply rolled her eyes. "Next time tell her to go wake me and then she'll refuse."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Where's Henry? He probably needs to be fed." Liv asked.

"He is fast asleep in the living room and I already gave him one of the bottles from in the fridge."

There sweet baby boy had rough couple of weeks in the NICU after contracting phenomena. It was a trying for the whole family as each parent had to strategically split their time between being at the hospital with Henry and at home with Noah and Raegan, on top of Olivia healing from her c-section. To look at them sitting around the table now, no one would ever know that there was a time when Olivia and Rafael thought their family would fall apart from the stress. However, they had pulled through and ever since, their now three-month-old son, was thriving.

"Was he still coughing this morning?"

"No, he was fine." Rafael assured her. "And stop worrying about it. Kids get coughs and that doesn't mean that they're sick."

"Yes, but your son is not just any kid. We have to watch him."

"I know we have to, but if we sit and watch his every move we'll never eat or sleep or stop worrying. He's fine Liv. He's a healthy baby, the doctor said so himself at his appointment yesterday."

"I guess you're right." Admitted Olivia.

"Excuse me. What was that?" Rafael looked at her in disbelief.

"So what inspired this breakfast this morning?" She asked, changing the subject. Liv eyed the table; there was a plate of waffles and one of bacon, a bowl filled with scrambled eggs, and Rafael had just set a fresh cup of coffee down in front of her.

"It's Saturday." He answered, but the look Rafael received from his wife said she didn't believe that was all. "And both of the kids were up, Noah asked for waffles, and I need to talk to you."

There it was.

"That doesn't sound good."

Rafael shrugged. "Good is a relative term."

"Rafi, that isn't helping your case."

He sighed and took a seat across from his wife. He took Raegan's plate and began cutting up a waffle for her. Liv watched him as he avoided whatever it was that he needed to talk to her about.

"Spit it out." Olivia pushed him.

"I'm changing units."

"What does that mean?"

"They've asked me to join the public integrity unit."

Liv just looked at him, trying to read his face. "Public integrity? Really?"

"I know, I know."

"Why do you want to change units?"

"Because it's more normal hours and less demanding."

Olivia sighed. She had a history with the public integrity unit, David Haden, Paula Foster. She respected the unit and understood what their job was, but she couldn't picture her husband there. "You really want this?"

"Not at first." He told her. "But then I got to thinking about and it started to sound better and better. I'll be making almost the same salary, but without the long hours and commitment. I mean they basically want me to run the unit, which means that I get to decide how much I take on."

"But you love being an ADA."

"I do and maybe someday, I'll go back to it. But this is a good opportunity and it means that I get to be home with you and the kids. You're going to go back to work next week and when we're both working, every day is unpredictable. And I want the kids to have some consistency. The DA's office can survive without me, SVU needs you and you need to be at SVU. But this way one of us will get to be here every night and that will be some peace of mind for both of us. No matter how much I love my job, I love these kids more and always will and I would rather be here with them than sitting in my office."

"You don't think you'll regret this decision?"

"You think that I'll regret getting to spend more time at home with the kids? With my wife?"

"That's not what I mean." She said, taking a sip of her coffee, cream no sugar. "I know you want more time with them, we both do, but someday in a few years what happens if you realize that you could have balanced being a DA and a father and you wished you had never made this change?"

"Then I go back to being a DA."

"It's that simple?"

"No probably not, but that wasn't my point. My point was that if I want to change, I have the connections and resources to do so. But right now, where we stand as a family, this is the decision I want to make."

Liv thought for a moment, letting what her husband was telling her sink in. She knew that Rafael was an adult and that he was making this decision after very careful consideration, but she just couldn't help but feel that her going back to work was part of why he was deciding what he was. She didn't want this to come back later and be something that tore them apart because Rafael blamed her for not giving anything up, while he changed his whole life for their family.

"Stop thinking whatever you are thinking and just know that I've decided and anything you say to me won't change that." Rafael pushed Raegan's plate back across the table. "This isn't your fault and I will never blame you."

"Why do you always know what I'm thinking?"

"I'm just that good." He smirked.

"You wish." Olivia chuckled. "So what are we doing today, super dad?"

"Oh you know, I thought we would go to the park maybe save a cat that's stuck in a tree, put out a few fires on the way." Rafael joked. "I don't know. I didn't really have any bright ideas beyond the waffles."

"Well we could go to the zoo, maybe?"

Noah perked up immediately at hearing his mama's suggestion. "Yes! The zoo. Let's go to the zoo."

"Like I thought that would be a hard sell." Liv smiled at Rafael.

Two hours later found Olivia and Rafael at the Bronx zoo. They usually wouldn't make the trip all the way out to the Bronx, but the zoo was so much bigger than in Central Park and they figured the kids deserved one really good big outing before their mom returned to work and it would be that much harder to guarantee any weekends completely free.

"Look the roar, daddy." Raegan's small finger pointed to the lion sitting in the African Plain's exhibit.

"That's a lion, Rae." Rafael tried to correct her, but since she could put two and two together, Raegan had been referring to lions as roars.

Olivia stifled a laugh at her little girl as she let Rafael lead her and Noah up to the glass, so they could get a better look at the giant animal. She took a step back and sat down on one of the many benches scattered around the zoo. Henry's little body lay gently against hers in the front-pack, his even breathing letting her know that he was asleep.

She leaned back against the wood bench and sighed contently, watching her husband and son and daughter stare in awe at the lion, then look at each other and laugh over something Rafael had said. No matter how many time she saw them all together, Liv could never stop herself from wondering how this had become her life. A few years ago, if someone had looked at her and said you're going to adopt a baby, get married to Rafael Barba, adopt another baby and then have a baby of her own, she would have laughed so hard the tears would have been streaming down her face in sheer disbelief. And now somehow, that's exactly what had happened and nothing had ever seemed more right.

"What are you thinking about?" Rafael was now standing next to her, keeping an eye on the kids, while also noticing the far off look in his wife's eyes.

"Just about how different life ends up to be."

"Who would have thought, right?"

"I mean we're married and we have three kids. I never in a million years would have even guessed or considered this to be a possibility. But now I can't imagine our lives being any different."

"Oh I can imagine them being different but certainly not any better."

"Daddy, daddy." Noah, holding his little sisters hand, ran back from the lion cage. "What's next?"

"Well what do you want to see next?"

"Do you think they have any elephants?" The little boy asked hopefully.

"Oh I think that they do!"

"I want to see the elephants!" Noah said excitedly.

"Me too!" Raegan added, copying her older brother's enthusiasm.

Rafael put out both of his hand, each child grabbing ahold of one. "Well, then let's go see some elephants."

Olivia pushed herself up off the bench, looking down at Henry who was still fast asleep. She watched as her husband and kids walked ahead of her, all of them seemingly having the best day ever and she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her own face.

Sometimes things ended up being better than expected.

 _ *** Cheesiest possible ending I could have imagined, but I love it, I hope you loved it, and it just seemed like the right way to end this story. A huge thank you to all the people who have followed along with this story and from Different Than Expected. I loved writing this, exploring Olivia and Rafael, and putting together this family. All the support, reviews, follows, favorites, meant so much. Thank you! ***_


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